101. Surrendering to Birth: Katie's Powerful Wild Pregnancy and Free Birth Story

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Are you a soon to be mom, a seasoned mother, or simply interested in the world of birth?  You’re in the right place! 

In this episode, we discuss:

• Home birth in Maine
• The challenges of surrendering during pregnancy, labor and birth. 
• Wild Pregnancy, and Free Birth in Maine
• ….and a whole lot more!

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We’ll take time to get to know each other in a variety of ways throughout the program…  Including: 

• live support from our private community of like minded mothers 
• weekly birth coaching over zoom as you work through the material
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Transcript

Katie: 0:00

So this next day is Monday and I wake up that morning and my mom went back home because she was like, well, she stayed for a little while but the sensations the next day really pretty much stopped and she had to get back to work. So she ended up going home. My husband was supposed to work that night but he had told his boss and he bought work, like my wife's in labor, you know. And so I was kind of feeling like this, like outside pressure of like okay, all these people are like waiting on me. It felt like kind of, and it didn't necessarily feel like it was getting like getting to me too much, but I do think that, like it was, that was a small piece of like me feeling even more annoyed and like confused and like, oh no, these people are waiting on me. Like my husband told everybody at work I'm in labor and he, you know, is he gonna get in trouble because I'm not really having the baby yet, and like. So all these things, all the things I'm thinking, and and then I just started getting in my head to like what is going on, like why is this happening like this? And yeah, and then you know, I reached out to you because I was like I feel like I just need to like speak out my fears right now, and I know that Angela will hear me and listen and just kind of like be there for me. And it was. It felt like I needed to just like speak it out.

Katie: 1:34

And, yeah, and you know, for some reason the fear of stillbirth was something that like came up for me. And stillbirth was something that like came up for me and you know, ultimately, like what am I gonna do about that? You know you can't really do anything about that. Unfortunately, like, with life comes death and it's a really like sad thing to talk about and think about, and not that like I would ever do anything to like put, put my baby at risk or whatever. Like some people may think that the way we go about it is putting my baby at risk. I think it's the complete opposite. But still, birth happens, no matter where you birth, no matter who your medical team is or is not, it happens.

Katie: 2:27

Yeah, so that fear came up for me and I didn't I actually I don't even think I really mentioned it to my husband because he was already in this stressed out state because of work and him it was a whole lot of stuff with that. So I didn't really want to bring that into his realm because it was just for me, that was that. So I didn't really want to like want to like bring that into his realm, cause it was kind of like just for me, like that was my fear. I didn't want to bring that fear to him and and I knew that like nothing was wrong, it was just me working out what was what was playing out. Like I just had to. You know, I had to figure it out and surrender.

Katie: 3:00

And yeah, once we we talked about it a little bit and you know I listened, I listened to baby with fetus scope and baby had been moving, like you know nothing, nothing seemed wrong. Then, you know, that fear kind of just went away and I just like surrendered to like it's going to be what it's going to be and yeah. So, and I want you to know you were a big part of that. So thank you for being there for me. We all need that Sisters to talk to.

Angela: 3:28

Yeah, I'm Angela, and I'm a certified birth photographer, experienced doula, childbirth educator and your host here on the my Maine Birth podcast. This is a space where we share the real life stories of families and their unique birth experiences in the beautiful state of Maine, from our state's biggest hospitals to birth center births and home births. Every birth story deserves to be heard and celebrated. Whether you're a soon-to-be mom, a seasoned mother or simply interested in the world of birth, these episodes are for you. Welcome to episode 101 of the podcast and also to the first episode of 2025 in season three. I absolutely love sharing all of these incredible main birth stories and it is such an honor to be back shining a light on the beauty of birth and the power of motherhood.

Angela: 4:25

Today's birth story guest is my dear friend and inspiring fellow childbirth educator, katie Stroud. Katie shared her first two birth stories back on episode 48 of the podcast, so go check that out to hear the first part of her story, and she also joined me in episode 95, where we talked about her wild pregnancy, this time around with her third baby, and also about our collaboration on Birth Bliss, a comprehensive childbirth education course that we designed to guide you on your journey to pursuing a natural and undisturbed birth experience. I'm so excited to announce that we'll be teaching this course in person in the Bangor area again this spring and fall, so stay tuned for all of the details about that coming so soon. Today, katie is here to share all about her wild pregnancy and free birth of her youngest son, forrest. All right, hi Katie, welcome back to my Main Birth.

Katie: 5:21

Hey Angela, I'm so excited to be here again. I feel like we were just chatting not very long ago and now we're here to talk about the birth.

Angela: 5:29

Finally, and I'm so excited yes, I am so excited to hear about it and yeah, so to get started, why don't you share about how you found out you were pregnant this time around? And, yeah, what your, what's, your thoughts were around everything related to the pregnancy and birth?

Katie: 5:47

Yeah, okay. So if your listeners are familiar with any of my previous stories, this is like my third time on your podcast. I got to tell my first two birth stories and then I came back on a few months ago and talked about what it was like walking through this last pregnancy. It was a wild pregnancy. If anyone doesn't know that term, it's pretty much just like being pregnant and living your life away from the medical system or any really sort of systems. So and that was a term coined by Janine Pavardi Baker so I talked about that a little bit, but, just as a refresher, this is my third baby and just last year it was when my second son was turning one and it was actually Mother's Day and I decided to take a pregnancy test because I was feeling like my period was supposed to be coming or I missed it. I wasn't really tracking very well I usually do fertility awareness method and, yeah, I wasn't really tracking and so I just like randomly, took a pregnancy test. I didn't have symptoms or anything and I was pregnant and it was a really big surprise. We were not consciously conceiving, it wasn't very yeah, it just wasn't in our plans, but this baby had their plan and he was coming through and so, yeah, that's how I found out I was pregnant and yeah, and then the story goes on from there.

Katie: 7:22

I really want to start this by talking about one of the biggest lessons that I felt like I was being taught was being asked to lean into deeper during this pregnancy and birth and everything. Really, I think that I don't necessarily think that every pregnancy and birth, you know, there's like a concrete, like lesson to be learned or whatever, but I do think that it can be a really amazing and open time for lots of deep, integrative work. And sometimes it isn't, and that's fine, whatever. The work kind of is just being pregnant, I feel like too. Work kind of is just being pregnant, I feel like too. But yeah, so from the beginning, the word and the lesson that I was being asked to learn was surrender, and that's kind of like the theme of the pregnancy and it started with when I took that pregnancy test and I found out that I was pregnant. I really I had to surrender to that because that was. I didn't have another option like that. I was going to move forward with the pregnancy. So, yeah, surrender started there and then, you know, life went on, there was a lot of thoughts about, like how am I going to do this? You know three kids. There's going to be a pretty small age gap between my second and third Not what I would have planned out, but we're going to go with it.

Katie: 8:49

And then at one point in my pregnancy, pretty early on I was probably like 10 weeks I had an experience of I had an insect bite on one of my thighs, right next to my left butt of, and it was nothing like that I would have been worried about for for a couple of days I just like noticed it. It just looked like a mosquito bite. It was red, just like a red dot, and it didn't really itch though no other symptoms. But one day I just I like looked down at it after like it had been there for a few days and it seemed like it was getting bigger. And so I like threw a circle around it and, you know, within the next day it had already gotten bigger. And so I was like, okay, well, I don't need to keep drawing circles because this is obviously getting bigger. So anyway, long story short, this bite grew to be almost the size of like my whole, like upper left thigh and like butt cheek, and it was like it was a lot of um.

Katie: 9:50

I had a lot of thoughts. I'm like, is this a tick bite Right? Like that's the first thing that comes to mind. You know, that's a big thing in Maine and there was a lot of fear that came up for me and like just a lot of thoughts. And I really had to sit with it and and just think about, like okay, what am I going to do? What am I going to do with this information? Well, I didn't have any information, but what am I going to do with what I'm seeing? And you know, like I'm pregnant, I'm I don't really associate with the medical system, not that I wouldn't if I didn't need to, if I, if I felt I didn't need to, but yeah. So I really had to sit with it for a while and like sit with the fear and just like think about all the different ways this could go, what, what options I had and what I wanted to do and and the way I live my life.

Katie: 10:40

It just it made sense to really not do anything and to just kind of like let anything, any of the symptoms play out or whatever, and I really then I decided. You know what? I think our minds are really powerful. People are probably going to laugh at me like you can, you know, heal cancer with your mind, blah, blah, blah, but like I believe that I really do, there's there's a really deep, powerful ability we have all of us, not just some people. And so I just started really trying to think positively and I was doing like some little meditations like of like healing and, like you know, sound, sound bath meditations, and and then I also decided, okay, I'm going to make sure my lymphatic system is flowing really well. So if there's anything in my system, my, at least my lymph, lymphatic system, is working properly and you know everything's, everything's good. So, like every day I was doing like certain like movements and stuff and getting all that going. And I decided to up my magnesium levels and, and you know, I'm like somewhat doing Google searches, but not really because Google just makes me go spin out of control. Um, I feel like that's probably a thing for a lot of people and it it's just filled with too much information. So, anyway, and that that like everything played out the way it played out.

Katie: 12:01

I did end up going to like walk in care and I was like you know what, maybe I'll just get a Lyme test. And if it played out, I did end up going to like walk in care and I was like you know what, maybe I'll just get a Lyme test and if it's positive, I'm still probably not going to do anything. But like I don't even know if I believe the test, like it was just you know so many things. So I did that and she she sent me in a prescription for antibiotics just just to have on hand, and I was like, okay, I'll have them at home, but I'm probably not gonna take them. And it came back negative, which I once again, I don't know if I believe it. It could be positive because there's so many different opinions and there's so much different information around Lyme and testing and all the things.

Katie: 12:38

And I ended up not taking the antibiotic too, because and people, probably there's some people who are gonna be like you're crazy, like you know, long having having chronic Lyme is way worse than just like wrecking your gut and taking an antibiotic and and like, yeah, that might be true, that might be true. Um, and there's also not really any good information and research on the antibiotics that they prescribe when you're pregnant in like helping cure Lyme or like get rid of the Lyme in that like window of time that you have. So I was like taking this antibiotics probably not going to do anything either, so like it just all, you know all. I just didn't believe in any of it. So I just kept having a positive mindset and I really had to surrender to all of this, you know. So that came up again and the, the bite, the redness, it just faded away and like there hasn't been any other issues since, I still just really believe that like my body was like working through what it needed to work through and everything's okay now. So I feel like I just had to mention that because that was like a really big part of my pregnancy and it happened early on and and that was just another huge instance for me of just like surrendering deeper and yeah.

Katie: 13:55

So I went about the rest of my pregnancy and busy, busy, have two young kids, two boys, and you know I didn't really have a whole lot of time for like some of the self self-care that I would have imagined having during pregnancy. Um, I took baths and stuff when I could and I just tried to cherish those like little, those little things that I got to do, given the you know the circumstances I'm under and having, you know, the two young kids. So so, so, yeah, let's see. So the weeks leading up to his birth, I was feeling pretty ready, not like I wanted pregnancy to be over, because I love being pregnant, but it's a whole nother animal when you have young kids and you're and you're pregnant, and it's winter time in Maine. It's like that's a whole nother layer and I just was like over it.

Katie: 14:48

And then there's the aspect of feeling like we're all cooped up, we can't really get outside because it's been freezing, and then getting outside is such a task getting all of their winter clothes on, and my 19-month month old can't really walk in the snow with a snow pad. So I was just like super pregnant trying to carry him through the snow and you know they're going crazy cause we're not really going outside a lot and and I felt like, yeah, okay, it's time to have the baby and, um, yeah. So so the weeks leading up, I just felt like I think this baby is going to come earlier than than like my due date that I have in my mind. I was just feeling like that. I just felt like my body was telling me and I don't know, and my babies have. The two babies I've had before have come around like 39 weeks or like the first one was 40 weeks, but but that doesn't necessarily mean anything either. Your babies can all come at different times.

Angela: 15:47

So so how did you calculate your due date?

Katie: 15:50

Well, well, I, it was kind of a guess, right, because I didn't actually know exactly when my last period was.

Katie: 15:59

I didn't like have it marked down, but it was within, I'm sure, a week more, more or less on either end. So, like, my estimated date was January 15th, which is the day it's my, my first son's, the 16th of January. So yeah, so it was kind of a guess. Um, so maybe I went on time, I don't know, maybe I went two weeks early and yeah, I was kind of hopeful like the baby would come during Christmas or something, I don't know why, like the idea of that and coming like before the new year. But that didn't happen. That's okay, whatever, um so near rolls around, and I'm I still haven't had like a baby shower and we kind of planned it last minute, but I really wanted to have like a little nesting party where I'd have, you know, family and friends come over and they could just help in whatever way they wanted. I don't I never want to like force people to like clean my home or anything like that, but it was like an open invitation like, hey, come, hang out, have some food. If you want to clean a little bit, that I would love that Like that's like the best gift to me, honestly, like not buying things but like coming and cleaning and making meals and stuff, cause that's the way I would show my love and appreciation for somebody you know. So, so, yeah, it was really nice I I had so much support and it was just amazing. All of the women just came together and just like kicked butt, doing stuff at my house, like organizing and made a bunch of meals in the kitchen, and it turned out that it was perfect timing, because after everybody left, and later that night, well in the middle of the night, is when I had my first like real sensations and I sort of was having, like you know, I was having sensations towards the end of pregnancy anyway, just if I was, like you know, doing a lot like moving, a lot or whatever, but nothing like crazy. That was just like the practice you know, practice sensations, but yeah.

Katie: 18:02

So I woke up in the middle of the night it was around 2am and I was like whoo okay, and it was like it felt like okay, this is on. So I got out of bed and my husband was up because he had happened to be on a night shift schedule, because he was working night shift for a couple weeks leading up to that, and so he was already up, so that worked out, came out in the living room and I was like, okay, I'm, you know, I think I'm in labor, I'm pretty sure we're going to have a baby tonight. Like it felt. It felt legit it. You know, I've had two babies before, like I know what this is like, right.

Katie: 18:37

So so I was like, yeah, feeling confident, like baby was coming, and it was really quiet and peaceful in my living room, like we just had a little bit of like, a little bit of light. Nothing, nothing too much, just enough. I had. I got on my ball, I put some nice music on and and I felt really relaxed and like at peace that it was happening.

Katie: 18:59

And leading up to his leading up to this, though, I was feeling like, oh man, I really hope I don't go into labor at night. I don't know something about a night labor just like made me feel anxious and I felt like that. I don't think I know, I don't think I felt like that before. I think this was really the only time, but yeah, I don't know why I was having that kind of those kind of thoughts, that. Oh man, I hope I don't go into labor at night. I want to be rested and like something about the nighttime feels like lonely or like I don't know. I just was getting in my head about it. But near the end of my pregnancy I kind of like accepted like it was going to happen when it would happen and it would be just the way it needed to be.

Angela: 19:41

That's surrender again.

Katie: 19:43

Yes, yeah, exactly yeah, yeah. So I did. It took me a little while, but I did finally surrender to that. And so, yeah, when the night that it began, I was like this is actually really nice, like the atmosphere is perfect, like my boys are asleep and I'm, like you know, I'm not like super rested, but I don't feel like really tired either, just like the normal, like day to day mom tired, you know. And yeah, so you know, contractions were probably I don't know every five minutes or so. I wasn't, I hadn't been timing at this point, but they felt. They felt like they were consistent and like strong enough to make me really think the baby was coming.

Katie: 20:23

And I contemplated, like letting a couple people know. I usually don't do stuff like that because I get in my head and I'm like if I say it, then it's not going to happen. Or when it comes to anything, I don't like to speak things out before they happen. But this night I was like you know what, no, I'm just going to let a couple people know so that if they wake up in the night and they see it, they can be thinking of us. So I did that and, of course, everything just kind of like faded out.

Katie: 20:51

Well, also my, my youngest, who I sleep with, he woke up more than once. The first time he woke up I went in there to support him back to sleep and came back out, and then he woke up again and I was like, okay, well, I don't know how this is going to go, but you know it, they ended up my, my sensations just kind of like slowed down, they weren't very strong anymore. I had like a bowl of chicken soup before I went back to sleep, just so I could have some nourishment, and and then I was like, all right. Well, I told my husband I guess I'm going to go lay back with him because he's waking up and I kind of don't really feel much anymore.

Angela: 21:30

I don't know what's going on, but like I'm sure we'll have the baby tomorrow, so yeah, that's what I did, and he had taken this day off for the night off from work, because right Was that?

Katie: 22:11

no-transcript in the night and I'm like I really hope I don't go into labor any of these nights, you know, and because he's the only nurse at the facility, like he, he can't just leave. If I do go into labor it could be quick and all these thoughts and but it worked out where, yeah, he was, he was off that first night and and then we knew he was only going to get you know two weeks off. So it was also kind of like, well, we don't want you to take any time off until I'm actually having the baby, because I want to make sure you're home for as long as I can have you. Basically, right, I'm sure a lot of mothers can relate to that, especially with, yeah, not having a lot of time off and stuff for the fathers or for the partners.

Katie: 22:57

So the next morning, sunday morning, I wake up and nothing was really happening. I was sort of having sensations here and there, but like nothing to make me think like baby was coming anytime within the next like couple hours. So we went about our day and I was kind of like what do I even do with myself? Like I could go into labor, like do I want to? Just like do nothing like be lazy, you know, like, but I have two kids I have to take care of still, and I was kind of like pouty about it. So I was like what the heck? What do I do? So you know it was what it was, whatever, me and the kids just had lazy day, a lazy day. We, you know, they had some screen time and they just played really, which is what they usually do. I just tried to take like a bath that day and not think about it too much, but it was hard not to like have my mind on it, understandably. So, yeah. So then I let my mom know, because she was going to be a part of, like, the birth, in that she was going to kind of like tend to the boys while, you know, had, whenever labor happened, she could tend to them so that my husband wasn't worrying about what you know the two other kids were doing and also trying to like help me if I needed help in any way, and he just he didn't want to have that situation. It would have been stressful, especially with, like, our 19 month old. Like he's, you just don't know what he's going to be getting into. He kind of has to be watched. So so, yeah, she, she came over and the evening came and we all just had dinner and we watched a family movie together and sensations picked back up again, like when evening came I gave the boys a bath and they were like every starting around, like probably 6 PM or like no, like five. I was like I'm going to time them just to see. And they were every five minutes and like nothing, like crazy, crazy strong, but strong enough to make me think, okay, baby's going to come tonight. This is going to be good, the baby's finally coming. And so, yeah, we just went about the evening.

Katie: 25:08

Um, when we were watching the movie, they, the intensity kind of picked up and I was like, oh, okay, nothing like I was having to like stop talking through anything, but like enough to really make me think this is really, this is early labor, you know. So the boys went to bed. I kind of was like, yeah, I think they should go to bed soon because I don't really, I, you, I want to get my space ready and which is the living room. So they went to bed and, yeah, I just kind of stayed up and did the same thing. I put on a nice show that would make me laugh and feel good. And my mom ended up staying out in the living room after she helped put the boys down and me and her just kind of like watch that together and spend some time together, and I think my littlest one woke up again. I had to go tend to him.

Katie: 25:54

It came back out and once again though, the yeah, the sensations just kind of like stop, sort of like the. The pattern was so interesting and I really had to keep like surrendering to that because I was like there's no, like there's no way this is supposed to go, like there's nothing, you know there's no textbook. This is labor and if it's not, you know, like it's just also mysterious. There's no playbook for it. And ultimately, like what am I going to do? There's nothing to do to control it. And I didn't want to control it, of course. So I had to just surrender to it Like man, like of course I let my emotions come like just being bummed and kind of like annoyed, like why isn't this happening? You know, I'm like ready, let's go baby, and but there's nothing I can do. So I went to bed around probably like 11 or something, and I was still having sensations, but they were just like sporadic and like I was able to pretty much sleep through them, like it would kind of wake me up, but nothing crazy.

Katie: 26:59

So this next day is Monday and I wake up that morning and my mom went back home because she was kind of like, well, you know, she stayed for a little while but the sensations the next day really like pretty much stopped and she had to kind of get back to work. So she ended up going home. My husband was supposed to work that night but he had, you know, told his his boss and he bought felt work like my wife's in labor, and so I was feeling this outside pressure of like, okay, all these people are waiting on me. It felt like kind of, and it didn't necessarily feel like it was getting to me too much, but I do think that it was. That was a small piece of like me feeling even more annoyed and like confused and like, oh no, these people are waiting on me. Like my husband told everybody at work I'm in labor and he, you know, is he going to get in trouble Cause I'm not really having the baby yet, and like.

Katie: 28:01

So all these things, all the things I'm thinking, and and then I just started getting in my head to like what is going on, like why is this happening like this? And yeah, and then, you know, I reached out to you because I was like I feel like I just need to like speak out my fears right now, and I know that Angela will hear me and listen and just kind of like be there for me. And and it was it felt like I needed to just like speak it out. And yeah, and you know, for some reason, the fear of stillbirth was something that like came up for me and something that like came up for me and you know, ultimately, like what am I gonna do about that? You know, you can't really do anything about that. Unfortunately, like with life comes death and it's a really like sad thing to talk about and think about, and not that like I would ever do anything to like put, put my baby at risk or whatever. Like some people may think that the way we go about it is putting my baby at risk, but I I think it's the complete opposite. But still, birth happens wherever. No matter where you birth, no matter who your medical team is or is not, it happens, yeah, so that fear came up for me and I didn't I actually I don't even think I really like mentioned it to my husband because he was already kind of in this stressed out state because of work and, like him, it just it was a whole lot of stuff with that.

Katie: 29:44

So I didn't really want to like bring that into his realm, cause it was kind of like just for me, like that was my fear. I didn't want to bring that fear to him and and I knew that like nothing was wrong, it was just me working out what was what was playing out. Like I just had to. You know, I had to figure it out and surrender. And yeah, once we we talked about it a little bit and you know I listened, I listened to baby with fetus scope and baby had been moving, like you know, nothing, nothing seemed wrong. Then, you know, that fear kind of just went away and I just like surrendered to like it's going to be what it's going to be and yeah, so, and I want you to know you were a big part of that. So thank you for being there for me.

Katie: 30:27

We all need that Sisters to talk to. Yeah.

Angela: 30:30

Yeah, it's so powerful just to be heard and to have someone witness what you're going through and sit with you through that and not pathologize your birth, but instead reflect back to you, like to tune into your intuition, and what do you think you should do? And you're really the only one that could ever know.

Katie: 30:56

We, as women and people in general, like just like sit with our emotions a little more before we react, because, like we're so quick to just like react. React instead of oh, my husband always says this instead of like reacting, I don't know how he says it, but we just have to like sit with it more and like think about all the different things, like what matters to us. What do we actually want to do? Are we letting fear like control our decisions, or are we making these decisions based on, based out of like like pure integrity and like congruence with how we want to like live our lives? And like you know cause, if I told anybody else this, they might've told me, like you should go to the hospital or whatever, like even though there was nothing. There was nothing going on, it was just like you know, prodromal labor. So letting other people control our decisions too, and like letting that fear just like come in and take over it. And it's really hard, it can be really hard no matter how you live your life. Like fear comes up for everybody. So, yeah, it was, it was big for me. It felt like, um, but yeah, I just I took another bath that day and I I actually reached out to my breath work coach too, who has been who's so amazing throughout my pregnancy. She I just, I got, um, I got a lot deeper with God. I, I, my relationship with God grew a lot because of her and because of the breathwork journey and I've always had, like I went to, you know, the Bible study growing up and I guess I would consider us Christians, but I that I kind of like fell away from religion in my like college years and that was kind of the thing like rebelling against that, like so sort of like the feminist movement I feel like. But yeah, god came back into my life and he was a big part of my birth too. So, yeah, I reached out to her and she told me she experienced prodromal labor before and just like to look to God and surrender deeper and that he's got me and baby knows what they're doing and baby, you know everything. So that really helped and just getting in my body more, trying to just like be embodied, yeah.

Katie: 33:18

So I went about the evening and this evening I was expecting the same kind of thing to happen, the sensations to pick up again. You know, when the boys went to bed. It would be kind of like the same thing, but it was like less than what it had been, like it was like slowing down even more. It seemed like and I was kind of like, okay, well, it was nothing to do, like I really, really, really felt like I had deeply surrendered at this point, Like there is nothing for me to do and I just I'm going to, just, it is what it is. But I was like tomorrow, I don't care what happens. I didn't want my kids to be at the birth, just to be a part of it. But I was like they need to get out of the house. I'm going crazy, they're going crazy. So I was like I'm going to make sure they're gone tomorrow so that they can have some, get their energy. Like maybe I just need like some space to just to relax even more.

Katie: 34:12

And yeah, so that night, yeah, nothing, nothing happened. I stayed up a little bit, but I was like, no, I'm going to get rest, cause you know, I don't know when this is going to happen. So so slept that night and um woke up in the morning with my youngest and we had some breakfast together and then I was like I want to get in the bath. I don't know, I just want some warm water, me and him can just play in there for a little bit. And and then I started feeling sensations picking back up again. I was like, okay, this didn't happen the other mornings, like this is feeling, you know, whatever, I just like, took note of it. But I, I just didn't think about it too much Cause I had that had been happening for days. And we got in the bath and well before I got in the bath I sat on the toilet to pee and my mucus plug came out and I was like, oh, okay, this might be a good sign. You know, sometimes that happens days before, but I, I've been having this for days, so maybe it's a good sign. And it kind of got me excited.

Katie: 35:09

Um, we get in the bath, take a bath, had some special time together, some one-on-one time, and and then my young, my oldest, woke up and you know I'm like getting breakfast ready for him, and then I'm kind of getting their stuff ready to go for the day, cause my mother-in-law was going to take them to the children's museum and and everything was starting to pick up quite a bit and I was like, ooh, okay, this is yep, these feel strong. And so I was like I'm I need to get up my husband because he helped me out here Like I'm like getting these kids ready in labor, which isn't even a big deal. I feel like so many mothers can probably relate to that Like, especially the ones that have lots of kids like they're like, oh, I've gotten kids ready through multiple labors, you know, I've like brushed teeth, I've wiped butts, I've all the things, because that's just part of life. And so, anyway, yeah, part of me was like you know, pouty, like I'm getting them ready. My husband's sleeping but he was like on that night shift schedule. So, like he, you know I was trying to let him rest too, because he had been on this like flip-flop schedule. And so, anyway, I get him up and I'm like you need to get up soon.

Katie: 36:15

Um, I'm feeling this and I'm like, oh, I lost my baby's plug, just so you know. And he was like, okay, and he gets up and, um, I get like the living room ready and the boys are all ready, they're excited to go. My mother-in-law comes and gets them and she's so sweet. She kind of just comes in and I'm like rolling on my ball and she just comes over and is just rubbing my back and she's like you've got this, your body knows what to do and I'm not like in deep labor, I'm just, like you know, just getting my body feeling good. But she was sweet and then so they left and and yeah, we just went about the morning and like, even still up to this point, like labor patterns were still like, not like my usual, they were still like they were getting stronger, but just it took a little longer.

Katie: 37:02

Like it was, it was a little more spaced out and like there was some like some more time, I guess. So I was just trying to not compare it to like any other labors, like I just I couldn't, there was nothing. Even if I did compare it, like what's the point? It's just going to make me get in my head more so, uh, yeah, so we went about the morning. I'm in the living room just rolling on the ball you know I'm staying really hydrated and making sure I'm like I've eaten enough and I'm like just nourished and everything's picking up.

Katie: 37:33

But I felt like I don't know. I felt like, hmm, I had a thought like maybe like the baby's positioning like is kind of, you know, creating this, this weird pattern, or maybe maybe they just need a little like change up in there. And I'm like I'm a believer in well, we've talked about this before, angela, you know like there's a lot of nuance, like birth is birth, but there's a lot of nuance too, and I'm a believer in like biomechanics in our bodies and like that does play a role in positioning and in like maybe in labor patterns, and it's not something to pathologize, but like it's something that we can use as a tool and like for support and to maybe create different outcomes. But you know, at the end of the day we don't really know for sure, like what, what it's doing. But so, yeah, you know, and some of like the where I have learned my teachings, our teachings, they, they wouldn't agree with this. Like it. It's kind of like you know, positioning has nothing to do with it. And your body. You know positioning has nothing to do with it. And your body, you know blah, blah, blah. It's like only in your head and like I believe that to an extent, but I do believe in like body mechanics too, and like creating more space in our bodies helps our babies have more space as well and, like you know, shift in the body. So I was like, all right, maybe I'll try some like side lying, cause that's like really the only thing that came to mind. And, um, so my husband did some like side lying if anyone doesn't know, that's from um spinning babies and we just kind of did that a little bit like one or two rounds, and I don't know if it did anything, who knows? Um, I had the baby eventually, obviously, but I just thought that was important to mention because, yeah, like I don't know, sometimes doing a little bit of moving and like whatever can be beneficial. If you feel like it, you don't have to like don't do anything. That doesn't feel good, I think. But, yeah, something to keep in mind. So, yeah, so this is like you know, it's like 11, 1130. Things are getting going.

Katie: 39:41

I remember being feeling like so cold for some reason in my house and like that we have the heat blasted and I'm, like my husband's like sweating. I'm like I just feel so cold in here but all my heat's going to my womb. So, you know, it felt really nice and cozy just to have the heat blasted and I'm in like a muslin robe and some wool socks. That's all I've got on. So that probably is why too, but eventually I get in the bath. I was like, alright, I want to take a bath, just to, I don't know, feel the warm water. And I didn't feel like birthing in the tub this time, I don't know why. I feel like I was just set on having the baby in the living room. That's what I had pictured and I just wanted that. So I don't know, that's just what. Yeah, that's what I did, not that I would have not done it in the water, I don't know.

Katie: 40:32

But so I got in the tub and things were stronger, getting stronger, getting stronger, and I was at one point like, oh man, I feel. And I was kind of like at one point, like, oh man, like I feel, like I should like be feeling, like I need to push soon, like this is, you know, the intensity feels like it's at that point from what I've experienced before, and, um, so I like, sort of like, tried pushing and it felt so wrong. I was like, oh no, this is no like, definitely not this. I'm going to just wait for my body to do it Like. There's no reason to be rushing this and there's something powerful when you like, just like, let your body do it, like it. There's nothing else to compare it to and like.

Katie: 41:15

That's why it's just so hard for me to get on board with like birthing in the hospital, where, like women are so they're so like tied down to these rules and constraints and like they're not. They're just, they just give away their power and like their intuition to like other people who aren't even in your body, like how, how, why are you having somebody else tell you what to do? Then they're not in your body, like they might know this, these medical terms, and like your baby's heart, like they, yes, they're educated in certain ways, but they're not in your body. You're the one birthing Right. And so when you're birthing without medication, of course, cause that, that throws in a whole nother layer. But yeah, it's just it's.

Katie: 41:59

There's something beautiful about just letting your like feeling it all and letting your body just do it and work its magic. And but yeah, no, ultimately like give birth where you want to give birth. I'm not like dissing any, you know the way women give birth. It's just I like I want other women to like feel that and like no, like they can do it, and like just be able to take control of that experience more, because then the outcomes are just like so much better when you just let it play out, so like, yes, yes For the world, it's like like we've got this. Women like you, any woman, can do this. And so, yeah, I just had to say that. So, okay, so I'm in the bath for I don't know 30 minutes or so.

Katie: 42:44

Just, you know, breathing through I, I pretty I kind of like go pretty internal during, during labor and like I am just in, I don't like I'm not very loud for that, like first, not first bit, but I guess, until until I'm like pushing, I'm not very loud. I'm like very internal and very just like in my head, but not at the same time. It's like this really cool in between, I don't know. So, yeah, I got out after a little while, made sure my husband had everything like set up. Oh, it was so funny.

Katie: 43:16

At one point he I had like put a yoga mat on the floor, like right on right by the couch Cause, like my I knew my knees were going to be on the floor and like then I put some chucks pads and I think I think it was after this he like took the yoga mat out for some reason and I was like, what are you doing? I like got so mad. I'm like like I had this set up the way I wanted it. And then, of course, I'm like about to have a contraction and I'm like you need to fix it right now. I'm like, oh, in the middle of it he was like okay, sorry, sorry, sorry. It was just one of those moments, like, where I was like what the heck? So he fixes it for me and and and you can relate to if you, you know you're about to have a contraction and like you want to get in the position, you want to get in, and you're like, oh, like you know, you just need it to be the way you need it to be. So so I get in the bath and I come back out.

Katie: 44:12

Gosh, this must've been one 45 at this point, one 45 in the afternoon and within I don't know the next 10 minutes, finally, baby had like descended and was in my pelvis to the point where my body was starting to push. So finally I had that first fetal ejection reflex that just you know, the, the, your body's just pushing for you and I was kind of like, oh, okay, finally, but then also kind of like, oh, no, like this is, like this. Is it right? This is the most intense part, like you know what's coming, kind of, and it was very intense and I was just, you know, leaning over the couch just having so many thoughts, so many thoughts of just like I'm in this now, like I have to surrender. I've been, I've been surrendering, but like this is the deepest surrender I need right now. And there was no like me fighting anything back. It was just like me having to face what was coming of all of this intensity.

Katie: 45:20

And I read portal Well, I actually didn't finish it portal by Yolanda Norris Clark, and if anyone is familiar, it's like I don't know the exact title, it's portal like something about a blissful, pain-free, orgasmic birth. I totally believe all of the concepts she talks about, like just the concepts of consciousness and like the fact that, like we have so much more choice than we think we do and that you know all the things and I'm like I know I can, like this is attainable for me and for any woman, not so much like the orgasmic part like I'm not really sure about that but like the, the pain-free part, like was, like I was like, okay, I can get on board with this, you know. So I read that, not like trying to like get this outcome, but just like really to like just have a lot of that information and like those words and the wisdom and just all of it like in my consciousness and in my realm so I could do with it what I wanted, right. And so I was like thinking about that during it and you know, up until the pushing part, like I was like okay, like I can sort of transform this into like not as intense, but like once, once it gets to that point, like I just I felt like I couldn't do that and, um, I can, I know I can, right. Like that's what her book is all about, like you can choose. But I guess I was choosing that for it to be intense. So, yeah, it was, it was very intense and but I did keep saying to myself, like I just was reminding myself, like I am the portal. I am the portal and that sounds probably like so woo, woo or whatever, but that was like getting me through it, like I was like I am the portal for my baby entering into this world, like this is the only way through that they can get through is through me, and like what an amazing honor and a blessing and like this is so crazy intense. But like I'm doing it and I was really like looking to God, to like God has given me this, like looking to God, to like God has given me this, he, he's given me this.

Katie: 47:27

I like I was born to do this and and I was yeah, I just was saying some affirmations like that and within like the first, the first couple like push, pushy contractions, I had my water just like popped, so I like kind of leaned back, pushed into it and it was like this, really like like this intense pop. And then, once that happened, I was like okay, yeah, baby's going to come down pretty quickly now. Like cause it was almost like the water was like just adding a lot more pressure and like he needed to like just push, burst through that, you know, to be able to like descend more. So, yeah, once that popped, it was about 20 minutes before he emerged, so intensity kept getting stronger and there's really no words. It's so hard.

Katie: 48:13

Like I try to like be the storyteller in the way of like I want people to like be in my shoes and like feel it and like know exactly what it was like but there's nothing I could say that anyone would, unless you've been through it, right, so, which I'm sure, no, like males listen to this, but maybe they do. But anyway, if you're a first time mom, I guess you wouldn't know and you'll find out. But yeah, so I'm just, I'm just pushing, you know, with each wave and finally he gets to the point where he's um, oh no, I need to say this. So, yeah. So I'm like I'm like feeling Holy crap, like this is so hard, like this hurt, this is intense, like, not that I can't do this, but, man, like I really don't want to be doing this anywhere, I just want to get through it, and without like wishing it away, but also it's like, uh, you kind of do when you're in it. So I asked my husband at one point and I say like, after like one really intense contraction, I'm like I'm like heads right there, and he was like nope. And I was like, oh no, I shouldn't have asked you just like crying. And I was like, oh no, like why did I ask? Like I shouldn't have, I didn't. I don't want to know that now, because I'm like how much longer, you know, like the little girl in me like uh.

Katie: 49:34

So it wasn't long after that, though you know, like it was probably a couple more, couple more contractions and, um, he, he, he was nearing the like the end of my Yoni and my husband, I was giving a really good push and he's, he's you know, he's down behind me looking. So he's like okay, okay, so, so, baby's, baby's trying to come out, chin first, his, his, his nose is his nose is coming out and his chin and you know, his forehead's kind of getting like stuck right by your butt. And he actually says hoo-ha at one point. And I just have to laugh because, like I didn't realize, he said that. But I look back at the video and I'm like you, you know, you said hoo-ha like about my vagina and it's just so silly, but he's like he's trying to come out of your hoo-ha this way.

Katie: 50:25

And so I'm like okay, I'm like yeah, cause I felt a lot of pressure in my butthole, which is like totally normal, but it felt like more than normal, like it was, like his head was right, like yeah, so I don't know if his positioning was why, I'm sure it was, but so when he told me that though I had like a little bit of fear. I was kind of like, okay, face first, I was like I'm pretty sure, like that's a presentation that's not like super ideal, but like we're in it, like what am I going to do? I'm going to, like push the baby out, like what's there to do. And but I was definitely at that point I was like, okay, no, I want to, like, I want to get him out, like I want to get his head out. Like I didn't know, I didn't know what to expect, I didn't know if there was like going to be any issues or whatever. I didn't really have time to even think about that.

Katie: 51:14

It was kind of just like I want to get him out, so, and there was nothing wrong like but, yeah, so, so that next, the next like wave came and I pushed and I started to feel the ring of fire and I was kind of you know, that's that like ow, ow, ow, like really really stretching, stretching feeling, and then kind of got through that and I just like got on my my, I kind of like sat up on my knees and just like grunted the hardest I've ever, grunted, like roared at the same time, just like like totally primal, like trying to just push him out. So I mean it worked, because I think his head was like halfway out and he did like shift his head. His head ended up, like you know, he like tilted his chin down and his head came out first, not his face. So you know he shifted, my body shifted, whatever, um. So his head was halfway out and you know another wave came his head, his whole head's out, and then after that it's kind of pretty easy. I feel like once that head gets through, it's just like it's just they kind of slide out.

Katie: 52:26

So there's a little bit of a pause and then his body came out and my husband's so loving, he's just giving me so many affirmations this whole time and just like you're doing it, you're doing it and like you've got this and, and he catches them from behind and his cord is like wrapped like a sash around his shoulders and I immediately like I'm like pass him, pass him through, pass him through. And he, you know he's slipping his hands, he's like I got him, I'm just trying to get his cord unwrapped, and he passes him through to me and, um, I sit on the floor on the Chuck's pads and just kind of like I'm like breathing deeply, like panting, kind of just in this, still like really primal state, and then I'm just like looking him over, just looking him over making sure he looks good and he looks beautiful, and I was kind of just like this, you know, you're just taking your baby in, and and then finally I like kind of like come back to and I'm like smiling and like, not like a sad cry, but like a happy cry, like you know, yeah, like a panty cry, and and I'm looking at him and I start talking to him like hi baby, hi baby. And I'm like, oh, you're got all the slime on you and cause he's all slippery and I'm just rubbing him and giving him kisses. And my husband was just getting like wrapped up in a blanket and make sure I'm warm. And I actually I'm like just looking him over and I I kind of like peeked down to like I didn't mean to like look at his to see what he was, but I guess, maybe subconsciously, I did, cause I just couldn't wait. And so I look and I and I see some balls. So and I it caught me off guard, though, cause I was like and my husband wasn't right there to see with me. So anyway, I like looked down and I, I just kind of like look up and like I'm smiling, and my husband puts a blanket around me. I look up at him and I'm like, do you want to look? And he's like, okay, and he's crying Cause he's just so happy that we did it and he's, you know, he's saying like you did it, did it again, you did it just being so sweet, and so that, yeah. So then he looks down with me and he says our third son. We're both just crying, laughing together, cause we're just like, wow, another boy. We just, you know, you just never know, it's 50, 50, but it was a beautiful moment for us. And yeah, we just we took them in.

Katie: 54:49

The after pains kicked in super quick and they really do get in more intense with every baby man. It's like I feel, like I didn't feel them at all with my first and then second time a lot, and then, third time, it was like, oh, this hurts, you know, and I'm thinking like maybe if the placenta comes out it will ease up, but it doesn't really, it's gonna. You know, it's part of the body's process that it's all like divinely designed and I know that, but it's still, it still hurts. So probably like within 30 minutes, though, I got the placenta out. I kind of like tugged on it a couple of times just to see if it felt ready, but it didn't at all. So I just like let you know, let it do its thing and start to detach from my uterus and eventually, like I felt like a nice, a good contraction that was like I like pushed with it and it just kind of like plopped out and put that in a bowl, cause I wanted to freeze it, and actually I ended up doing some placenta prints with it, which were fun. I wish I got some pictures of it, though I I I didn't get any pictures on my phone. I guess I could thaw it out and do that, but, um, we'll probably bury it or something, um, this spring in the garden.

Katie: 56:00

And so, yeah, the placenta was out and this time we just cut the cord. Last time we did a cord burning and it was just like too much time and work and I just didn't feel like doing it, although I think it's a really beautiful like ritual and it's like one of the best ways to do that actually, because it's like it's sterile and you're detaching it as well as like cauterizing it basically so it's. It's a really beautiful practice if people are into that kind of thing for home birth. So, yeah, we just cut it and then we got comfy and snuggled up and I was super excited for my boys to be back home so that they could, you know, see that they had a new baby brother. And yeah, we didn't tell anybody until they got to meet him first, so that they knew that they knew they were having a brother first before anybody else. So it was really beautiful when they got to meet him and they were just excited and so sweet and giving him kisses and yeah, and everything from there has just been.

Katie: 57:01

You know, I'm still in my postpartum time. I'm about six weeks. I can't believe it. Time has flown. But yeah, a little over six weeks postpartum and everything's just been great. We've just been trying to integrate.

Katie: 57:16

He looks like he has like red hair and it's the cutest thing to me. My first boy had brown and then I had a blondie and now I've got like this little ginger and I just love it so much. So, yeah, it was like a perfect birth and like just so. Nothing like you expect, but also like a little bit like I imagined, you know, and I just like, once you're out of it too, like after that, I'm like that's so hard. I don't know how I did it, but like now, at this point, I'm like, oh yeah, I could do it again. Like you know, you're just like I don't know. It's just so beautiful. I love that. That's how we were designed, to just kind of like want to keep doing it. When it's when we do it in like a physiological way and we're not like traumatized Right Cause, then that's a little different.

Angela: 58:06

But yeah, exactly. Wow, what an incredible story. So, as a final question, if you were to give advice to someone who's expecting, or even new parents, what would be the biggest thing you'd want to share?

Katie: 58:22

Oh my gosh. Well, you can take in all the advice and words but ultimately do what feels like good to you. So it's hard because it's like, yeah, it's nice to have wisdom and words of advice and to have somebody give you the answers, and also always come back to yourself and like what you, what your intuition is telling you and what your heart is telling you. And, yeah, just try to listen more to that and like kind of like clear out the outside noise and I guess, yeah, I mean like seek out people who make you not make you feel good about your decisions, but like I mean you're supportive of your decisions and also are kind of on like the same wavelength as you, so that you can kind of just be there for each other.

Katie: 59:09

And I just want to encourage women and families to seek out all the options and know that like there are more options than they probably think and and to choose the options with like all of the information, not just like what you hear from, like your, your mom and your friends, and like don't, don't just like do what everybody else does. Just because I just like, and if you want, if you want to, I guess just do do it whatever like do whatever you want. If you want to, I guess, just do it whatever like do whatever you want. But I feel like there's something to, there's something powerful when we choose things based on like what we want, not just like what everybody else does. Right, so, like you know, just going with like the status quo or whatever.

Angela: 59:54

Yeah, trust that intuition, like if your intuition is like questioning something you're being told. Go with that and learn more about, about.

Katie: 1:00:04

Uh-huh and and try not to don't let people like normalize your trauma and your and like the mean staff at the hospital that like made fun of you for for your choices and your birth plan, like do you want to be giving birth with people like that? Cause I wouldn't. So anyway, just choose your options wisely and you've got this.

Angela: 1:00:26

Yeah, totally Well. Thank you so much, katie, for taking the time to share your story today.

Katie: 1:00:32

I am so glad to share and I hope that some people you know hear my story and it gives them courage or it makes them feel like they are more capable than they maybe are being told, or maybe you just feel more valid and the stories that they already have and that, yeah, I just hope that it someone can people can find even just like a little grain of something positive for their own life Story. Medicine is so important and I think that hearing all kinds of different stories is really important for us, especially for, like, pregnancy and birth. So thank you for doing this with me.

Angela: 1:01:12

Before you go, I just want to remind you I have a ton of resources for pregnancy and birth. If you're pregnant, whether you're a first time mom or if this is your fifth baby, I want you to check out the show notes, because I have some free trainings and free downloads that you can sign up for, as well as the link to access my labor of love, a comprehensive, self-paced online childbirth education course. I created this course specifically for moms who don't want to be told what to do, regardless of where you're birthing or who you're birthing with, and I'd honestly love to teach you everything that I know so that you can prepare for an autonomous birth experience and prepare to step into your role as the leader of your birth journey. So click to the show notes, check out all of those links and, if you ever have any questions, feel free to DM me at my main birth over on Instagram.