MyMaine Birth

107. MyMaine Birth: Sarah's Precipitous Birth Story at Mercy Hospital in Portland, Maine

• Angela Laferriere • Season 3 • Episode 107

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Are you a soon to be mom, a seasoned mother, or simply interested in the world of birth?  You’re in the right place! 

In this episode, we discuss:

  • Mercy Hospital in Portland, Maine Birth Story  
  • Midwifery care and doula support
  • The difficulties of processing a precipitous birth experience
  • ….and a whole lot more!

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Not sure where to start?  I’ve got you covered!  Check out my FREE resource, 37 Questions to Ask Your Care Provider.   Whether you’re interviewing new providers or have already established care, this FREE resource offers guidance on important topics to discuss with your provider. 

Sarah:

All the planning I had done and the visions I had of what this birth was supposed to look like was not. It was not even close to any of that. I didn't get to do any of the things I wanted to do, but I think in hindsight I'm glad it went that fast. I had a 24 hour labor. I probably would have been, you know, getting an epidural or all these things that I had originally not wanted to do. So I am grateful for that fact Because I can look at myself in the mirror and say you did that Like I did that by myself. So it's a really great feeling to have, and that's when I, whenever I think about the scary parts of it, I try to spin it and think about how cool it is that I did that. I feel really grateful.

Angela:

I'm Angela and I'm a certified birth photographer, experienced doula, childbirth educator and your host here on the my Maine Birth podcast. This is a space where we share the real-life stories of families and their unique birth experiences in the beautiful state of Maine, from our state's biggest hospitals to birth center births and home births. Every birth story deserves to be heard and celebrated. Whether you're a soon-to-be mom, a seasoned mother or simply interested in the world of birth, these episodes are for you. Or simply interested in the world of birth, these episodes are for you. Welcome back. You're listening to episode 107, and today's birth story guest is Sarah. She's here to share all about her experience with a precipitous birth and what it was like for her birthing with the midwife group at Mercy Hospital in Portland, maine. Hi, sarah, welcome to my Maine Birth. Hello, would you start by sharing a little bit about you and your family?

Sarah:

Yes, so right now it's me and my husband and then our son Boston. My husband and I have been together, for we just celebrated 11 years together, and we moved to Naples a little over five years ago, bought our house and got married a few years ago, and then we welcomed our son Boston, five months ago, and we also have three kitties and a bunny that lived inside with us, and we have four goats and eight chickens outside oh my gosh, I love it.

Angela:

That's a beautiful little main homestead you got yes, we love it.

Sarah:

It's very fun and I'm very excited for him to grow up with all these animals. And yeah, it'll be really fun come springtime when we can actually get outside and play with them.

Angela:

Yeah, past the mud season right. I'm like already it's like snow mud. I'm like I just want it to be dry and warm. Same, can't wait. Yeah, so now to get into your birth story. Will you share about when you found out you were pregnant and your thoughts in choosing your care?

Sarah:

Sure. So my husband and I had been trying to get pregnant. We had decided it was time I had gotten my birth control out and I was very impatient I am a very impatient person and I had been told actually I'd done an astrology reading of my birth birth chart and they had told me that I would not have a hard time conceiving. But of course, as we're trying, I'm not believing them. We tried, I think, two times and it was negative. And then on our third attempt, very luckily, I did get pregnant. I found out I was waiting right for the day my period was supposed to start and I took a pregnancy test that morning by myself. I came back positive and I just remember sitting in my bathroom crying so happy, could not wait to tell my husband, but I wanted to wait till he had gotten home from work. So I actually went out and bought a pair of white New Balance sneakers like the classic dad shoe. So I put the pregnancy test into the shoe and when he came home he was like what are these? I'm like, oh, they just were on sale and they were your size. I thought you'd like them. And he opened them up and he's like why did you buy me dad shoes. And then he looked at me with these big eyes and it was. And we just were crying in our kitchen and we were just so happy, so excited, but so scared at the same time because I just didn't want anything bad to happen.

Sarah:

I think my early pregnancy I was really riddled with fear of something bad happening, and we didn't tell anyone, of course, until after the first trimester. But when it came to choosing our care, I had seen one of the gynecologists at Northern Light Mercy Women's and so I had called them up let them know I was pregnant, or, you know, pregnancy test came back positive and they didn't. They wouldn't see me until at least six weeks and that freaked me out because I wanted to make sure that this was true. I didn't want to get my hopes up. But finally, once we went and we were working with the OBs there, they confirmed everything and I felt pretty comfortable with our care until about the third I think the second or third visit.

Sarah:

I noticed that the visits were really short. You know, the doctor would come in for about five minutes, ask if I had any questions and then leave, and I wasn't super happy with that. I actually went to a class at Birth Roots for newly expecting parents and some of the other moms had mentioned going to Northern Mercy Midwives and how great their care was. And I was about 20 weeks along at this point and I thought you know, maybe I should switch care providers. I didn't know if it was too far along or not, but I called, they got me in and I just fell in love. At my first visit there, I just felt this is the place I need to be. They're giving me the care and attention that I needed, especially with my first pregnancy, and I'm just so happy that I switched over to them and I had such a great experience with the midwives there.

Angela:

Yeah, wow, so that's basically the same practice, right? Was it like the same sort of office, but just with the midwife? It's the same hospital.

Sarah:

So they have the OB office and then they have the midwives downstairs. So it was a very easy transition. But and I'm just so happy that they got me and they weren't sure if they'd be able to take me or not because of how far along I was, but they made it work and I'm so, so grateful.

Angela:

Oh, my goodness and I love that your husband opened the box and immediately was like why did you get me dad shoes, like we're just? That shows how like you much you guys are on the same page.

Sarah:

Yeah, I think, being together as long as we have. We met right after high school and been together so long that you know we finish each other's sentences, we know what each other's thinking, and so I'm glad he caught on. He didn't even see the test at first, he just knew like, oh my God, this is it.

Angela:

And so, as sort of a side question, what was your kind of general mindset as far as like pregnancy and birth before you got pregnant and before you kind of went through these experiences? What were like sort of the stories that you had heard about birth, growing up and leading into this?

Sarah:

I think you know mostly hearing and seeing birds on TV and what they were like. And then when I was in college, I actually minored in holistic health and I took a woman's health class and it ended up really making me like learn more about women's, like our bodies and how magical they are and this beautiful thing about birth, and it just really made me in awe of what we can do, and I had never experienced that, of course, but it was something that I was really loved and wanted to learn more about. I ended up taking a doula training class at Birth Roots. This was like probably 10 years ago. I never turned into anything, but it was I just wanted to learn more about birth.

Sarah:

And so when I got pregnant, while I had only seen births on TV, I knew that I wanted something more natural and wanted I think that's why my care with the midwives was more aligned. And then I also knew that I wanted to get a doula. I knew the power of doulas and how they can help from doing that training, and so I knew immediately I needed to get a doula on board. And I ended up just Googling doulas in the area and I found my doula, shannon. She's a big little fish, I think, is the name of her practice and she called me to set up you know a little meeting and I just fell in love, the same way I had fallen in love with the midwives that first visit. I just fell in love with her on the phone and was like this is my team, this is the people that are gonna help me bring my son into the world, and I just felt so confident in that yeah, having that confidence going into birth and with those choices is so important.

Sarah:

Yes, and I was. You know I had been planning this. It's not like this was something unexpected, so I knew. You know, I really need to get all my ducks in a row and feel as good as I could going into this birth.

Angela:

How far along were you when you decided to hire a doula.

Sarah:

I think it was right after I had met with the midwives. It was around that time. It might have been a little before, a little after, but it was around that 20-week mark. So I really knew how important doulas were. And I talked to my husband about the cost of them and he was very supportive and said if this is what you feel you need, let's get one. And I explained to him because I know it can be nerve wracking for the other partner that it might take their place. The doula might take their place. And so I just let him know. You know she's here for you too. This is the first time we're both experiencing this, so I think having someone who can help us through that both of us is really important to me. And he agreed. And once he met Shannon too, he knew she was the right fit for us.

Angela:

Yeah, I love that. So it was right around that 20 week point where you kind of shifted everything and was like, Okay, I want more support in all of the ways. I love that.

Sarah:

Yep, I knew I can't do this by myself. I have no idea what I'm doing. I don't have really anyone in my life to look to for that. Also, I don't have, you know, a mom in my life or friends that have gone through it, so it was really just us, and so I just really knew I needed all the support I could get.

Angela:

Yeah, so now, how is your pregnancy looking? How are you feeling throughout your pregnancy?

Sarah:

I felt pretty great the first month. I was exhausted, just slept all the time and it was really hard to keep the news from friends and family. But once the first trimester ended, I got more energy back. I was able to tell people, which was really exciting. I got more energy back. I was able to tell people, which was really exciting, and then I had a pretty great easy pregnancy. I'm very lucky in that the third trimester brought on some heartburn and my son was born with a full head of hair, so I think that is where that came from. But other than that, it was pretty smooth and I felt pretty good, except towards the end. He was 11 days overdue, so I was definitely feeling uncomfortable in those last few weeks, but overall, really great. I feel like my body was definitely meant to carry babies and I'm actually excited. Yes, I'm lucky enough to have another baby Excited for that part, because I really loved being pregnant.

Angela:

It's so special Now, 11 days overdue with your first baby, how was that looking with your care from the midwives?

Sarah:

They never pressured me once about induction. They said you know, as long as you're comfortable and baby proves to us that he's healthy inside, then you can stay pregnant as long as you want. We can induce you if you want, but it's totally up to you. They were so, so great and knew that I wanted very minimal interventions.

Angela:

And yes, he came without anyone's help, Would you share about the final weeks and then days leading up to when your labor started, and about your birth.

Sarah:

Yes, the last few weeks were rough. I was ready. You know I had been scared for so long during my pregnancy about giving birth, about, you know, the pain that was going to come and and just to be a mom in general was really scary to me. And I remember my doula telling me that is going to shift. And she was right. Those last few weeks it shifted and I thought I'm ready, I want this baby, I want to meet my baby, and he was being very stubborn, he did not want to come out.

Sarah:

I was doing all of the at-home ways to induce labor, practicing. You know different stretches and different, you know positions, for while I was in labor, we were getting ourselves all prepared, trying to get this baby out. I was very anxious and I was very sad watching other moms, you know, on social media giving birth and having their babies, the ones that were due after me, their due dates were after me and they're having their babies and I thought this is so not fair. Why do they get their babies and I don't? And so I was really bummed. But finally my doula said you know, oxytocin is what's going to start contractions. You just need to do anything that brings you joy, get outside, get into nature.

Sarah:

So it was a Saturday. My husband and I we decided, you know, this is going to be the day we're going to do all the fun things, enjoy each other's company, because it's just, you know the two of us for so long and we knew that that was going to be over. And there was a grieving period where I knew, you know, it's not just going to be the two of us anymore and we had been together for so long. So we're just trying to enjoy those last moments together. So we decided it was a beautiful fall day in October. We decided to go find a walking trail and we did a nice walk, probably like a couple hours in the woods with the fall foliage. It was so beautiful. I actually saw another very pregnant woman walking and I'm like, oh, maybe she's trying to do the same thing. And we did some shopping at my favorite store, renny's. We went to the lake. Since we live in Naples, we're lucky to be surrounded by so many lakes. We went to the lake, we got good food, we watched some you know trashy TV that night and just it was a really happy day.

Sarah:

And then we went to sleep and around 4.30 in the morning I woke up to a feeling. Something felt funny and I got up and I was like I don't know what that was and I laid back down and I was like, oh, happening again. So I got back out of bed and I thought maybe this is contractions and what I had learned from all of the classes that I took. I took so many birth classes, learned as much as I could to prepare. What I learned was especially birth and pregnancies, labor can last 24 plus hours. In that early labor, rest as much as you can. So every time, every time, I had that feeling, I kept trying to lay back down in bed to rest and I couldn't. I was so uncomfortable. So I finally got up.

Sarah:

I called my doula. I said I think contractions are starting and I had a couple on the phone with her and they were okay, I was just breathing through them. They felt fine. And she said you know, go, wake up your husband, make some breakfast, take a shower and call me in a few hours and just, you know, rest as much as you can. So I went and woke up my husband. As I'm waking him up, contractions are continuing. My doula had said you know, it's probably just my body trying to find a rhythm. But they were coming faster than I had expected and I went to the bathroom and I noticed some bloody show and I was like, okay, things are really happening. And then I stood up and I had a full. Okay, things are really happening. And then I stood up and I had a full-blown contraction that I could not talk through, could not breathe through. It was belly over. And I told my husband I'm like you need to call Shannon back because this is not right. These are coming fast and hard. And they just continued without any pause. She said you guys need to call the midwives, who also heard me having contractions over the phone, said rush to the hospital. We live about 50, 55 minutes from Mercy. So the contractions are continuing really hard and everything that I had prepared for I couldn't think about. I was just so in the moment, feeling these contractions, and all I could do was just, you know, be belly over experiencing them.

Sarah:

My husband helped me into the car. I could not sit in the seat so I ended up going hands and knees in the back, which was not our plan. I knew how unsafe that was, but there was no other way I could be. I had to be on my hands and knees. So he gets me in the car, he gets us to the hospital. Somehow I have no other senses besides feeling. I couldn't see anything, I couldn't hear anything. All I could do was feel these contractions.

Sarah:

So I do remember, close to the hospital, feeling like I needed to push. And I remember saying to my husband you have to get there. And I don't know how fast he was getting there, but he got us there and we had to go through the emergency entrance because it was after hours and they brought out a wheelchair and I was like, nope, I'm not sitting in that, I physically cannot. So they brought out a stretcher, got me up, was still on my hands and knees, they got me somehow up to the midwife's room, to the birthing center, and I remember getting in the bed, the midwife coming in and saying you know, she's 10 centimeters, she can push if she wants. And I was scared. I was so scared.

Sarah:

I remember I was still on my hands and knees, the feeling to push was coming and I held in those contractions as much as I could. I did not want to push. It hurts so bad and I didn't really realize how much you actually have to push. Like I was like, oh, your body does it and you really have to put a lot of effort into it. And I didn't want to. I was in so much pain and they had put a heart rate monitor on his head to monitor him and his heart rate monitor on his head to monitor him and his heart rate was dropping, which I didn't know about. I didn't hear them talking about this at all. But my doula got into my face and was like you need to push this baby out. And I was there. We had just gotten there. No IV, nothing, which was the plan. I wanted to go as natural as I could.

Angela:

Was there a reason why they needed to use the internal monitor instead of just the ones on your belly?

Sarah:

I think because the position I was in and how fast it was going, they just kind of popped that in.

Angela:

Did they give you any information about that when it was happening, because it is actually like a screw that screws into their head, or do they call it? Did they call it a clip? Or like we're just gonna clip this on this, or did they give you a choice, or they're just like this is what's. I mean, it's so fast and everything's going on so fast.

Sarah:

I didn't even know they did it, to be honest. So I have no, honestly no idea. I was in that room in my mind by myself, because I couldn't see or hear everything was happening so fast. I do, I mean, I do remember my husband, of course, being there and my doula, but that was it.

Angela:

It's almost like the opposite of an out of body experience. It's almost like you go so inner.

Sarah:

So inner and I just had no idea what was going on, and I think that's why it was so scary for me, because I was just I'm in all of this pain, I don't know what's happening and I can't do any of the things that I had prepared to do. The breathing techniques and the mantras and the tub and all these things I had planned for was out the window and I just have Shannon in my face saying you have to push this baby out. And I didn't know why I had to so quickly. I didn't know his heart rate was dropping. So you know I pushed. I think I only pushed a few times and what I had wanted was to help pull him out. That was in my plan. And when his head came out, they said look, do you want to see? And I said nope, I was in so much pain. I was like I need this to be over with and I gave one more push. He came out and I remember looking down at him on the table, so confused I was like what is who? What is that? What is that aliens doing down there? And they gave them to me and I was just so confused. What was going on. I was super relieved. I felt so much better, but it took a while to kick in that this was my baby and I was, I remember, like feeling like I should be crying and I wasn't crying, and just this big wave of relief. And then finally it kicked in. I'm like, oh my God, my baby's here and I just kissed and held him and they were so great to leave him on my chest as long as they did I was well over an hour that he stayed there and, um, we wanted to do the delayed cord clamping. However, the cord was basically already white right when he came out.

Sarah:

The midwives actually think why my labor was so fast was because my placenta was done and needed to come out. So when he came out, they cut the cord right away. The placenta came out and, I guess, held him and it was finally. It finally clicked in. What had happened and I was just like what the heck? Like trying like just reliving what was going on was scary, and I remember that first night in the hospital I couldn't sleep, I was having flashbacks and was scared and hurt and in pain and I my husband had to come climb into bed with me and hold me because I was reliving this trauma and it was so terrifying and I still am processing it today. It's a lot better, but it was really hard to understand what was going on. So much happened in such a short amount of time.

Sarah:

He was born at 8.50. So it was about four hours of labor In the morning yeah, in the morning. It started at 4.30 in the morning. Yeah, in the morning it started at four, three in the morning and he was born at eight, 50 and would have been here sooner if I had pushed when they told me to, but I didn't, didn't want to, so it was.

Sarah:

You know, I look back on it and it's it's our story. It's beautiful, but it was really scary and I'm glad that he's healthy and everything went as well as it did and I got to do it. Naturally that's what I wanted, with no interventions, and I was forced to. But yeah, it was tough, tough, those first couple of weeks kind of reliving it.

Sarah:

I was so happy that it was over, so happy and I all the planning I had done and the visions I had of what this birth was supposed to look like was not. It was not even close to any of that. I didn't get to do any of the things I wanted to do. But I think in hindsight I'm glad it went that fast. I don't know if I would have been able to do it without interventions, without pain relief, because it hurts so bad that if I had a 24 hour labor I probably would have been, you know, getting an epidural or all these things that I had originally not wanted to do. So I am grateful for that fact because I can look at myself in the mirror and say you did that Like I did that by myself. So it's a really great feeling to have, and that's when I, whenever I think about the scary parts of it, I try to spin it and think about how cool it is that I did that. I feel really grateful. And he was a big baby he was.

Angela:

He was over eight pounds oh yeah, birth can really be such a mix of emotions, you know, and it's all okay.

Sarah:

You know, it's all okay to feel all of the different things yep, yeah, I definitely learned that into motherhood having so many feelings at the same time, you know, so many truths can exist at the same time.

Angela:

Yeah, oh, it can be so intense when it goes so fast that it does kind of leave you like whoa, like what just happened.

Sarah:

And then, you know, I finally opened my eyes and I see all these nurses in the room and there's so many people. I'm like when did we get here? It was so, it was so wild. Um, and now I love the story because it's our story and that's how he came here. And it does make me a little nervous If I do have more kids. They did tell me that likely the next one would be quicker, which seems impossible. But you know, not something I have to really worry about right now, but it is kind of in the back of my mind, yeah, so I guess we'll have to wait and see Such a mystery, maybe plan for a home birth.

Angela:

Yeah, eliminate that car ride.

Sarah:

I would not wish that on anyone, that was. The worst part was the car ride, because I was in full transition contractions, you know in my mind where every 30 seconds I wasn't getting any relief from them.

Angela:

So yeah, I do not wish that on anyone, it was just so how was your postpartum time still totally postpartum, right, but like immediate postpartum and how's the last few months been going for you?

Sarah:

I would say this you know, early postpartum was, you know, filled with anxiety. I felt a normal amount of anxiety. I did have my placenta encapsulated so I was taking my placenta pills and I think that really curbed those baby blues. I had no baby blues. I felt pretty good. I was, of course, exhausted, anxious about my little baby, but I felt like it was very manageable.

Sarah:

My husband did go back to work after four weeks, so that was tough. I was lucky to have him for four weeks but of course that's not enough time. I know some husbands get less but I needed more. So that part was tough. Transitioning we don't have a lot of support around us so it was kind of just me doing it and that was hard but we figured out our schedule. We're doing really great.

Sarah:

Now we're five months in and I will say the support part is still tough, kind of being in this rural area. I have gone into Portland for some support groups and classes but it's tough when he's crying in the back seat for an hour drive for an hour class. I mean it's really tough. So trying to find more support in the area is something that I've been working on and I did find the postpartum project. They do some support groups actually in Bridgton so we're going to try to attend those and just work with our local library and just try to connect with some other moms locally. I think will be really helpful just to kind of get us through.

Angela:

Yeah, oh, that's amazing. That was definitely two of the things that I was just gonna mention is the postpartum project, because that's out in your areas, where they are, and then the local libraries everywhere is just so good to have those like mommy and me groups, or even if they're toddler groups. I feel like they're so like open and accommodating to moms with little babies too, to grow with me in classes.

Sarah:

Yeah, so we're excited to do those. We've been a little nervous to go out. He did get COVID when he was seven weeks old and we were in the hospital and it was really really scary and so at that point we had stopped any visitors from coming over. We weren't going anywhere. So it started to become really isolating and kind of just last week it kind of came to a head and and I realized I really need to get myself out out of this. It was really tough, but we're on the other side and we're getting out of the house and we're getting support and and feeling good.

Angela:

It's so hard. It's so hard with all of the sicknesses going around. It's crazy right now.

Sarah:

But it's very important to balance that. Yes, I have to balance that with my mental health and that's really important because I have, to be OK, to take care of him.

Angela:

We all need that community in postpartum. Yes, definitely so. Now, as a final question if you were to give advice to someone who's expecting, or even new parents, what would be the biggest thing at this point that you'd want to share?

Sarah:

I would say so. I have a Velcro barnacle baby who does not like to be put down. We do all of our naps as contact naps, we co sleep. He's always with me and while that can be hard, I am really enjoying the bond that we're making. But what comes with that is getting things done. And so I would say to any new mom, expecting mom, just don't sweat the things around the house, take the time, enjoy your baby, and I do things around the house with him when he's awake. We do the dishes together, we do the laundry, we vacuum. You know all the things that they don't have to be done when he's asleep, like mom's rest when, when you can. And so I feel like the contact naps have really helped me with that, because I'm forced to stop and sit with him and just look at him and love on him while he's asleep. And to me it's so beautiful and magical, and I think some people, you know, get upset maybe if their babies are contact napping, but I think it's a very beautiful thing.

Sarah:

I know he's getting ready for another nap right now. But I would just say, you know, enjoy those moments with your baby. Don't worry about the house, all that stuff you know will come. You'll be able to get to it and do it with your baby. Make it an activity. It's fun for them too. It's good stimulation.

Angela:

Yeah, that's so so good. I totally agree with that. And, yeah, it's so. It's so important to just take that time to take the snuggles with your baby. Yeah, and soak it all in, because they get big so fast.

Sarah:

I know it's too fast. He's five months old and he's already too big. I know Adorable.

Angela:

But it's beautiful.

Sarah:

I love it. I'm very, very happy we're here, we're on the other side, and it just feels so good. It feels good to get out of those newborn trenches. I will say that was tough and it's very nice to be on the other side. I mean, we have our own difficulties now, but much easier.

Angela:

I would say yeah it's all comes in seasons, right, it's like, and you feel like it's so hard, like, and then, like, it changes. And it's like, right, like, and you feel like it's so hard like, and then, like, it changes and it's like it's not going to be like that forever.

Sarah:

So yeah, stay positive. Yes, very positive.

Angela:

Well, thank you so much, Sarah, for taking the time to chat with me today. It's been such a pleasure hearing your story.

Sarah:

Thank you so much. It's. I think it's really healing to tell my story and any other moms maybe, um for them to tell their story too. I think it can be really healing. So thank you for giving me this opportunity.

Angela:

Before you go, I just want to remind you I have a ton of resources for pregnancy and birth. If you're pregnant, whether you're a first time mom or if this is your fifth baby, I want you to check out the show notes, because I have some free trainings and free downloads that you can sign up for, as well as the link to access my Labor of Love, a comprehensive, self-paced online childbirth education course. I created this course specifically for moms who don't want to be told what to do, regardless of where you're birthing or who you're birthing with, and I'd honestly love to teach you everything that I know so that you can prepare for an autonomous birth experience and prepare to step into your role as the leader of your birth journey. So click to the show notes, check out all of those links and, if you ever have any questions, feel free to DM me at my main birth over on Instagram.