MyMaine Birth

112. MyMaine Birth: From Hospital to Home, Mikayla's Story of Choosing an Unassisted Birth

• Angela Laferriere

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Are you a soon to be mom, a seasoned mother, or simply interested in the world of birth?  You’re in the right place! 

In this episode, we discuss:

  • Hospital Birth Story at Mercy Hospital in Portland, Maine
  • The reasons Mikayla chose an unassisted birth with her second child 
  • Mikayla's Unassisted Maine Birth Story 
  • ….and a whole lot more!

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Not sure where to start?  I’ve got you covered!  Check out my FREE resource, 37 Questions to Ask Your Care Provider.   Whether you’re interviewing new providers or have already established care, this FREE resource offers guidance on important topics to discuss with your provider

Mikayla:

I got up and I just was just standing at the sink and I remember looking at myself and I just like had this like upper lip sweat and I was just like. I just looked like I was working so hard and I had a pretty big contraction and I started to like I was standing up. So I started to like trickle blood was and I just remember staring at the little bloods dropping onto the little pad and it was like I was just in the zone and I was, if I was like comforted by the blood because I knew that I was just like I was opening and I was in it was coming, like she was coming. So then I waited until my next contraction and and it was, it was strong and I, I, you know, I felt like that, that roar and that like primal, you know, like urge and that push and her head ended up coming out and I just I had to stand there and the contraction was done after her, her head came out.

Mikayla:

That's actually something I do remember with Jack when I was giving birth to him. I could feel like contractions, I could feel him like descending and then like almost going back a little bit, and that that was like so discouraging I remember with him because I was like like you know, you're just like you're, you're ready to get it done. But that and that didn't happen with her, so that she came out, her head came out with one contraction, and then I just stood there with her head out just waiting and I I told Jake I was like I have to wait until the next one, so I just have to hang out. And the next one came and her shoulders came out and she slid right out.

Angela:

I'm Angela and I'm a certified birth photographer, experienced doula, childbirth educator and your host here on the my Main Birth podcast. This is a space where we share the real-life stories of families and their unique birth experiences in the beautiful state of Maine, from our state's biggest hospitals to birth center births and home births. Every birth story deserves to be heard and celebrated. Whether you're a soon-to-be mom, a seasoned mother or simply interested in the world of birth, these episodes are for you. Welcome back. You're listening to episode 112 of the my Main Birth podcast. Today's birth story guest is Mikayla, and she is here to share all about her unassisted main birth story. Hi, michaela, welcome to my Main Birth. Thanks for taking the time to chat with me. Of course, thank you for having me. So, to get started, would you share a little bit about you and your family?

Mikayla:

Yeah, so there's four of us. We are separated right now, but there's the father of my kids His name is Jacob, and then there's Lillian and Jack and myself, as Michaela. We have some pretty, I guess, unorthodox views as a family. We have some pretty hardcore morals when it comes to raising our children. So we don't do vaccines and we don't really do like well visits or you know if there's anything that we need to take them to the doctors for, like my daughter had something in her eye recently and we need to take her to urgent care to have it flushed out, you know, like anything like that. But you know we do a lot of like organic stuff and I've been homeschooling and, yeah, I'm still breastfeeding my daughter. She's over two now, so, yeah, Cool.

Angela:

So to jump into your birth stories then, would you share about how you found out you were pregnant for the first time and what your thoughts were in choosing your care?

Mikayla:

So I found out I was pregnant. We, we weren't like, we were kind of trying, but not trying to have a baby. And I had taken a pregnancy test the week before and it was negative. But then the next Saturday, or it was a Sunday, I another one and it was positive. So we, um, and we did it was everything was, it was, it was just right around like all the COVID stuff was happening. So you know, like there was a big shift and you know, like thinking and so, like I, I think that, as um Jesus, four years ago now, becoming a new mom, I just wanted to like learn everything that I could. So, but we still, for my first pregnancy and my first birth, we did like we had a hospital birth and I, you know, I went to all my OB appointments and it was pretty. Yeah, I did deny vaccines during pregnancy and I didn't do the glucose test. I did like a pancake breakfast type deal. Which hospital were you going to? I went to Mercy Hospital in Portland. So were you with the midwives there.

Mikayla:

Yeah, I did end up switching to Mercy from Maine Med. I switched at the end of my pregnancy. There was I can't exactly remember what it was but there was something that I had asked about with my OB at the time and she said no and I just was like all right, so I left there and but Mercy was really, it was really awesome there and they're a faith-based like hospital. So that was nice as well to to be like prayed over during my second pregnancy and birth.

Angela:

Yeah, so what were your thoughts going into your pregnancy for the first time, like what were your thoughts around just birth in general, going into your pregnancy for the first time.

Mikayla:

Like what were your thoughts around just birth in general? I was really excited to be pregnant, to become a mom. Really, it's like always been like a, like my dream to be a mom, but it was also overwhelming, like I, I, um, I did the whole like uh, what is that book? It's like that very classic, like what to expect when you're expecting. Yeah. So you know, like I, you know I did that and just you know, like the pregnancy pillow and watching all the YouTube videos and of you know, like moms getting their hospital bags together, I was, I don't know, I was so excited, I really was.

Angela:

So how are you feeling throughout that pregnancy and like what were your like appointments looking like?

Mikayla:

as you, as like, progressed throughout. They were pretty. I felt like they were pretty chill and like you go in and you get your belly measured, they weigh you, ask you what was wrong or ask if there was any questions, if you thought was anything was wrong. So it's pretty quick. You know there was nothing. I had a very um, I guess, very chill pregnancy. I was sick a lot, you know um nausea throughout the whole pregnancy from start to finish.

Angela:

But yeah, overall I felt pretty good for for my first pregnancy so how were those kind of final weeks and then days leading up to when your labor started, um, looking for you and yeah, how was your?

Mikayla:

birth. I just, I just hung out waiting to go into labor with my first with Jack. When it happened, I, I just like it happened in the middle of the night and I, I felt my water break and that's what. Like I woke up feeling my water break and it was, it was all. So when I got to the hospital, I was almost six, seven meters to island, so it was so I feel like everything was pretty. It was pretty, everything was chill until I got to six, seven meters and then everything started to pick up.

Mikayla:

For sure, I would say, with my first labor, it was. It was really hard on me. I was like roaring through. I definitely was very vocal, way more vocal than my second pregnancy, but you know, I guess that's how I was able to cope with it. Um, it was very intense.

Mikayla:

Giving birth to Jack was very, very intense and I don't know, maybe he had like a big head, so I don't know, and I just, yeah, I do remember there was. There was definitely a couple things like my first birth experience really paved the way for me to want to have a free birth and things, and, and, like I, you know, I really enjoyed giving birth to Jack, even though it was really hard and really intense. But I did feel, um, I just didn't feel comfortable in the environment. I spent a lot of my pregnancy wanting to give birth at home but we were renting in an apartment. I didn't feel comfortable, like you know, like, like I don't know, like you know like and like I don't know, you know, you don't know what to expect. So I'm sure my neighbors would have been definitely wondering what was going on if they heard me giving birth to Jack.

Mikayla:

Yeah, but it was, it was good and we did like the whole delay cord clamping and immediate skin skin. I didn't do vaccines in the hospital with Jack. I didn't do anything with him and I didn't do a circumcision or whatever. So, which was kind of like they had asked me about a circumcision with the vaccine. So that was like in hand in hand a little bit almost. But yeah, his birth was, it was overall smooth and when he, you know, and he they first um brought his like him up to my chest and I kissed his wet head for the first time, I'll just never forget that moment. I didn't expect him to be so like wet either.

Angela:

Oh, that's so special. It's the best moment ever. It really is, yeah.

Mikayla:

You can't, can't, replace it.

Angela:

Yeah, oh, amazing. Do you remember how your placenta was born?

Mikayla:

Um, I, yes, uh, I do remember being pulled out and like. So I don't really remember like birthing it myself. I do remember being pulled out, which I don't really know if I, so I don't really remember like birthing it myself. I do remember being pulled out, which I don't really know if I. I don't entirely agree with with that method, but I do remember feeling extremely relieved, like there was like a weight lifted out of me, I mean literally, but so I do remember that yeah, the official, you're not pregnant anymore, because that's really what it felt like.

Mikayla:

I was very relieved.

Angela:

So what were some of the things that happened during that birth that led you to make different decisions the next time?

Mikayla:

So I think, yeah, so it was during like the COVID time. So there was, like you know, like while I was waiting, you know, there's like COVID tests and and, um, you know, like certain protocols because of that, which just felt like an extra layer which I mean I'm sure things are different now, but it was just a little bit stressful. There was, you know, it's very quick. There's, you know, the bright lights, there's people moving all around you. They're like I wasn't hooked up to. I did get a bag of fluids, but it wasn't hooked up to anything. So I didn't do Pitocin or an epidural. I do remember one.

Mikayla:

So I was, I was going through a really hard contraction through at about like six or seven maybe I was about eight meters dilated at this point, but I was denying a epidural again, cause like they were really like asking me many times if I wanted to do it, and I had a nurse say that I don't, she goes, you don't need to be a hero while I was having a contraction which which just felt terrible. And then contraction, yeah, I'm making traction. I am a hero right now. I'm working so hard. You are the hero, yeah, um, and, and then I think, and, and then I think, and then there was another point where I did ask I was like, is there any alternative? And there is alternatives. Like I don't know what I was looking for, I think I just wanted my options and they said that there was no other option if I didn't want an epidural, such. You know, like I I know that's not true, but like at the time when you're in that space, it's hard to it really is hard to advocate for yourself.

Mikayla:

Um, and I also felt like um, the, the, the nurses kind of like pushed aside my partner and where I wanted him to be very like, you know, like, close to me, I wanted him to be right there with me. It seemed like he was kind of like getting moved out of the way and I was like reaching for him. So I didn't really like that either, um, cause he, he was, you know like throughout my whole pregnancy. It was like we are pregnant, you know like we did the baby shower together. He was, it was was very like this is like us together. So like having him kind of like moved out of the way so that other people can infiltrate was a little bit not not my cup of tea.

Angela:

Yeah, so how was your postpartum the first time around?

Mikayla:

I feel like the recovery was pretty good. I don't feel like I like like um, bled really heavy or anything like that, like it all, like that was all. That was all really good to me. I will say I had mastitis like three or four times and I really struggled with breastfeeding with him. So that was really hard with my. With my postpartum. It took me three months actually or us Jack and I, three months before I could actually get him to like latch my breast and breastfeed. But we did do it and we went on to breastfeed until he was 18 months old. So I found out I was pregnant and I didn't want to. I didn't want to do both.

Angela:

Yeah, so would you share about how you found out you were pregnant for the second time now and, yeah, like what your kind of immediate thoughts were in choosing your care?

Mikayla:

Yeah, so I, after I, um, I gave birth to Jack, I was I just became so passionate about women and pregnancy and birth and women's, like reproductive anatomy and their voice, so I definitely launched deep into all kinds of information that you know is just different than mainstream and I, I do. I was posting a lot at the time on social media about, you know, just like life and everything, and I do. I was posting a lot at the time on social media about, you know, just like life and everything, and I remember saying that I could feel my next baby, like, like, I felt like she was like coming to me or like. And then about a week or two later, I found out I was pregnant with her. I did take a pregnancy test. I was late on my period, so I was like, like, you know, I'm not gonna, you know, waste the day. I'm gonna go out and get one.

Mikayla:

So, yeah, and I found out I was pregnant with her and I decided that after my first experience that, um, I was just gonna like kind of take radical responsibility of my care and my baby and my body. Maybe I wouldn't recommend going about it the way I did to everyone, because, you know, everyone is different and I like, because I like, really like. I didn't do any appointments, I didn't do any urine tests. I did get a really bad sinus infection during that pregnancy, so I did go to the hospital and get a bag of fluids, but other than that, it's like self-directed care. Yeah, yeah, I measured my own belly, calculated my own due date and just did a bunch of self-care stuff at home yeah, I think that's the important thing that you bring up about.

Angela:

Like you know, of course, we don't like recommend this to anyone, but women are out here, like in everywhere, but, of course, like here in Maine, you know, making all different choices. As far as birth goes, you know, like, if someone, if you need somebody to you know, go to and be like should I do this or should I not do this? Like no, you should probably not do this, but if it's like in you know, your inner, knowing like this is what I want to do deep down, then, like you should, obviously, you know, do what feels right to you.

Mikayla:

Yeah, and the answers are out there. Yeah, there are lots of women that are free birthing and I mean that's definitely where social media has been such a good tool, because I, you know like it's so important when you do make a decision like that to you know, to reach out to, you know, people who have experienced that themselves and had success with it or didn't have success with it, because those stories are important too. I definitely I've connected with a mom on Instagram where she, I want to say it's two pregnancies where she planned on home births and free births or she might've had a midwife but she ended up transferring both times just because she felt safe doing that. So, you know, it's like all those, all that stuff is important.

Angela:

Yeah, and it's always like okay to change your plan. You know, as things go, you never know what's going to happen. It's all just a great mystery. Yeah, birth is very unpredictable. So how are you feeling throughout your pregnancy?

Mikayla:

I felt I felt pretty good with Lily. We did, um, we were having some like we were renting in an apartment that had some mold when I was pregnant with her, so that did make me sick throughout my pregnancy, but other than that I had a really good pregnancy with her. I did gain a lot of weight, though.

Angela:

I was very surprised by that. Were you kind of keeping track a little bit yourself?

Mikayla:

I was yeah, I've been probably up until the end, and then I didn't like care so much about how much I was gaining, yeah Right, but I was measuring my belly every week, which was always fun, and I measured like one or two weeks ahead every week with her.

Angela:

Yeah, so what other kind of things did you do, just yourself to you know? Check in on your pregnancy Were there. Were there other things that you did like throughout?

Mikayla:

situation. I I'm really big on like consuming organs, so I did like organs throughout my pregnancy and humic and fulvic acid. Those are my big ones. And then there was I really can't find her online anymore so I don't know if she's present. Her name was Nancy and she wrote a. She wrote a guide.

Mikayla:

She wrote a wild pregnancy, wild birth and then a wild postpartum like handbook and it was very detailed so and she also wrote one for the partner who is going to be assisting in the free birth. So my partner and I at the time we we studied that handbook that she had written and it was really really good. It was a really good tool, especially for him when he came, because I kind of gave him the tools that he needed and I was kind of like this is what you're going to have to figure out and I have my own things to figure out. So he came, he really read the things that she wrote and he brought that knowledge to the birth and, like you know her, her word really helped him. So that was like I wish I could find her last name. I do know her name was Nancy, but yeah, so she had, she had a really good tool.

Angela:

Nancy. But yeah, so she had, she had a really good tool. Yeah, I feel like just preparing ahead of time for the birth is so important to have that knowledge going in, like you know as you're pregnant and then, like towards the end of the pregnancy, just kind of let it all go and just you know, yeah, go inward right?

Mikayla:

yes, and I did read a um free birth and home birth books written by midwives to try to prepare myself.

Angela:

Cool. So how are you feeling? Like kind of confidence, wise as your pregnancy progressed, like thinking about your free birth. Did you have fears come up?

Mikayla:

did you have fears come up? Um, I did. Of course I felt, you know it was always like that. Um, you know the I the thought of like, just because it is so unknown, but like you know anything, you know it could happen. But I definitely really accepted death, I guess, cause you know like to bring it, you know to bring forth life, you, you essentially have to accept death. You know because, like you put yourself and you're, you know you can lose your baby. So and like accepting that really helped me in some ways. It's like it is what it is, like you know like the baby's gonna come out, so like whatever. So what is going to happen is is meant to be, and I really found comfort in in that. I did have a. I had a lot of confidence going into her birth yeah, I think mindset is very important it is.

Mikayla:

It was like non-negotiable that I felt solid in my decision making.

Angela:

Yeah, exactly. So how were kind of those final weeks looking leading up to when your labor started?

Mikayla:

Oh gosh they were. I just felt like I had. I had all the signs coming, you know, like the, the exhaustion, the bursts of energy um the nesting and cleaning, and the moods. I also had some mood swings as well with her and and I, um I had told my partner that I knew she was because she was going to come early. My due date with her was um the 16th of March and she came February 27th. Um the 16th of March and she came February 27th. And I calculate your due date. It was actually with the free birth journal or, I guess, guide that I had. There was a method, so it's. It says to either 280 days from the first day of your last period or add 266 days from the date of conception. So it was. That was like the general calculation.

Mikayla:

So her predicted due date was on the 16th but she ended up coming on the 27th so you knew the date of your last period then yes, I did, I was, yeah, I kept, I kept track of all that stuff and like a little app and you know, try to, because I, I don't, I actually I don't do birth control. I track my cycle.

Angela:

So you knew her due date and she came early. So what were kind of, how are you feeling those last? Um? Yeah, it's like things started to pick up with your labor.

Mikayla:

I felt good, I knew she was coming. The day before she came, my mother-in-law at the time she took my first son. So Jake and I were just we just like had some time to ourselves. And I remember, just, you know, we just walked around trying to like shop around and I really just like felt like I was like walking around with, like the baby, just like in my canal. I felt like I was like waddling because I had space, I was being occupied. And then that night I felt my water pop again, but it was like it was like really popped, like it felt like a snap of a rubber band inside. And I woke up around. It was around 1230 and I went to the bathroom Cause I was like, oh, maybe she just like kicked me really hard, cause, you know, or like maybe I just, you know, beat myself a little bit, but I, you know like I came back to bed and I remember telling Jake that I think my labor had started and he didn't really say anything, but he just like I remember him just picking up his phone and taking the time around and he just like, let me know, to let you know, to tell him when I was having a contraction. They were about eight minutes apart and, uh, my labor with Lily was, was so easy and if I think about and I definitely feel like just being at home I mean versus not being at home was so relaxing for me and I, you know, just like not having the buzz all around was really nice and Lily and I worked so well together. So I started labor around 1230 and it was only about four hours. I gave birth to her at 430.

Mikayla:

I like took a shower and I like did I got, I had like a tiptoe contractions and I knew that that was. You know, I was getting closer and and Jake had prepared, he like prepared like little spots for me around the apartment. I had a spot on the floor and we used, like we used puppy pads, which ended up being I mean, that was what was recommended, but it was so good for cleanup we put like a sheet down and then the puppy pads, so like, at the end of it he just had to wrap up the sheet and throw it in a garbage bag and it was. It was very quick. It was very quick, which was nice to see for him, cause, cause my partner had to do all the cleaning up. He did it so quick, he cleaned up everything so quick.

Mikayla:

So I felt that contraction in the shower and I got on my tiptoes and I was like I got to go downstairs and for like the entire labor I could not sit. I could not sit, I could not lay down on my side, which was completely different from my previous labor. I laid down a lot and I couldn't do that with Lily. I was on all fours like whatever that pretzel pizza with my legs, which is really helpful and then I ended up wanting to go to the bathroom. I tried to sit on the toilet and that squatting was like really, really intense.

Mikayla:

So I got up and I was just standing at the sink and I remember looking at myself and I just like had this like upper lip sweat and I was just like I could. I just looked like I was working so hard and I had a pretty big contraction and I started to like I was standing up. So I started to like trickle blood was and I just remember staring at the little bloods dropping onto the little pad and it was like I was just in the zone. Yeah, and I was. I was like comforted by the blood because I knew that I was just like I was opening and it was coming, like she was coming.

Mikayla:

So then I waited until my next contraction and and it was, it was strong and I, I, you know I felt like that, that roar and that like primal, you know, like urge, and that push and her head ended up coming out and I, just I had to stand there and the contraction was done after her head came out. That's actually something I do remember with Jack, when I was giving birth to him. I could feel like contractions, I could feel him like descending and then like almost going back a little bit and that that was like so discouraging I remember with him because I was like like you know, you're just like you're, you're ready to get it done. But that and that didn't happen with her, so that she came out. Her head came out with one contraction and then I just stood there with her head out just waiting and I, I told Jake I was like I have to wait until the next one, so I just have to hang out. And the next one came and her shoulders came out and she slid right out.

Mikayla:

I didn't know her gender either for the whole pregnancy. Well, I mean, I did. I told Jake the whole time that I knew it was a girl and he so he brought her to me and he's like, I think it's a girl and like I looked and it was and and, um, I could hear a little bit of fluid in her when she cried. So I ended up sucking the fluids out myself and then I just kind of sat there for a little bit and I could, I just like knew when my placenta was ready. I didn't really like feel like I was having a contraction, but I just like reached down and tugged and it like just came right out which was nice.

Angela:

So how long do you think it was after the birth of the placenta came?

Mikayla:

probably about 10 or 15 minutes. It was really quick, it was ready to go. Yeah, we, um, we took, we waited a long time before we cut the cord with her I think probably over an hour and then I nursed her for like 10 or 15 or 20 minutes and like we went right to bed after we cut the cord and we fell asleep and we didn't end up naming her for hours after she was born. We, we knew what we were going to name, jack pretty much at the beginning, but it took forever. Well, actually, yeah, it definitely took forever to figure out what we were going to name Lily.

Angela:

That's cute, yeah. So how was your postpartum time? It was good.

Mikayla:

I feel like it took a lot longer for me to recover, like in my pelvic area. I think that was definitely something I missed out on during my pregnancy with her. I mean, I was chasing around a toddler so I was exhausted. I didn't. I don't think I like supported my pelvic floor enough for that birth, so that recovery was was hard and it was long, but it was good. It was like it was over, and I think I bled longer with her too.

Angela:

I think I might have bled closer to two weeks versus one week with Jack, but it can be like your body's way of showing you that you need to slow down a little bit, but so hard toddler, right, it is yeah, and and being a stay-at-home mom, so I just yeah.

Mikayla:

So this is like you know, you get up and go in the morning so how long did your partner support you for, like after birth, did he?

Angela:

was he able to take a little bit of time off from work, or did he have to go back?

Mikayla:

his um, the company that he, he actually, he was passed over, so he, he was lead teacher, now he's head master. He had three weeks, I want to say, or at least it was two weeks, and then the third week was like he's taking his tutor clients and so he was in and out of the house, but he was still there and his mom lived right behind us at the time, or she, yeah, she lives behind him still, but when I was there she lived right behind. So so she was, she was able to come up and and help with Jack and pretty easily. So that's really nice. That was really nice that he was able to be there.

Angela:

Yeah. So now, as a final question if you were to give advice to someone who's expecting, or even new parents, what's the biggest thing you'd want to share?

Mikayla:

I guess, like my first thing to someone who's becoming a parent is that like to really to just like listen to what people have, you know, like just take it with a grain of salt. You know like there's so much information you really like learn as you go, but yeah, just like you take the bits of information that you need and and just like whatever with the rest. And I really do feel like women should seek all you know, just it doesn't mean they have to do anything, but just to know the different sides of what birth can be. Because you know, I mean mainstream birth when you think about what they have portrayed in the movies or you know it's, it's just not, it doesn't have to be like that. I mean, birth is really hard work, it's like the hardest work you'll ever do. But I don't know, I loved giving birth so much I I would do it again and again.

Angela:

Yeah, it is. It's really special, like you said, you know, when you were telling the story of your first, like that moment when they put the baby on your chest, and it's just like you do not forget it. It's so special. And, yeah, like you said, like you know, the care providers work for you. So it's important to you know, like, if you think you feel like you don't have choices, or if your doctor's saying no, you can't do this, you can't do that, and doesn't feel right to you, it's so important, like you know, even in your first birth, to go even just across town to a different provider. It's something different, you know you don't. You know, just do what feels right to you. And there's there's so many different options and women need those.

Mikayla:

You know to know that they have that option and that they can. You know that they can do that if they need to yeah, yeah, just to trust your gut, really definitely yeah, trust your intuition and that's that's um, it's. It's huge for women because, like we, we really are. You know we are the portal. You know we have that portal for life.

Angela:

So trusting our intuition is really important yeah, and even as we get moving to parenthood and our kids start to grow, you know like yeah it's just no one knows your kid better than you do.

Angela:

Yeah Well, thank you so much, michaela, for taking the time to chat with me today. It's been such a pleasure. Yeah, this was really nice. Thank you. Before you go, I just want to remind you I have a ton of resources for pregnancy and birth If you're pregnant, whether you're a first time mom or if this is your fifth baby. I want you to check out the show notes, because I have some free trainings and free downloads that you can sign up for, as well as the link to access my labor of love, a comprehensive, self-paced online childbirth education course. I created this course specifically for moms who don't want to be told what to do, regardless of where you're birthing or who you're birthing with, and I'd honestly love to teach you everything that I know so that you can prepare for an autonomous birth experience and prepare to step into your role as the leader of your birth journey. So click to the show notes, check out all of those links and, if you ever have any questions, feel free to DM me at my main birth over on Instagram.