MyMaine Birth

128. MyMaine Birth: A Home Birth with Transfer to Mayo in Dover-Foxcroft, then a 7 year Fertility Journey, followed by a Redemptive Home Birth - Megan's Story

• Angela Laferriere • Season 3 • Episode 128

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Are you a soon to be mom, a seasoned mother, or simply interested in the world of birth?  You’re in the right place! 

In this episode, we discuss:

  • Home birth in Maine
  • Navigating a transfer to the hospital from a planned home birth and a beautiful example of the way midwives and hospital doctor's can  work together.  
  • Midwifery care and doula support
  • The challenges of a long and difficult fertility journey 
  • ….and a whole lot more!

Additional Resources you’ll LOVE…

If you are ready to prepare for an autonomous birth experience, where you’re respected as the authority over your body and your baby…  regardless of where you plan on birthing -
CLICK HERE for 10% off  the MyAutonomous Birth self-paced, online course! 


Not sure where to start?  I’ve got you covered!  Check out my FREE resource, 37 Questions to Ask Your Care Provider.   Whether you’re interviewing new providers or have already established care, this FREE resource offers guidance on important topics to discuss with your provider. 

Megan:

So he started filling the tub pretty much right away, because I think we both kind of just knew Interestingly, like I don't think we ever really talked about it I didn't say like oh, this is you know. I think I in my head was like I think this is going to happen pretty quick, and I guess he had the same idea, because he started filling up the tub already and I just trying to distract myself, I guess decided to set up a charcuterie board for my midwives and people who were coming to my birth. So I started cutting up fruits and veggies and putting out crackers and all the things, and every once in a while Gabe would look at me and he'd be like don't you think you should be sitting down or resting or whatever. And I was like no, no, I'm fine and I'm like gripping the counter, being like okay, sorry, you know, but it was really nice because it was just, it was calm and quiet, it was just us. The other thing was that my, my son, wanted to be there for the birth as well. So we didn't wake him ourselves, but he woke up by hearing me, I guess, being in labor, and he woke up and I just heard him from the other room and he goes mom, are you having the baby yet? And I was like I think so, and he was like, okay, so he, he bounded out of his room. He was very excited, he was ready to witness that. And then it did happen very quickly, which was, which was very nice.

Megan:

So my sister arrived around six, 30, um, right before she came, probably around six or so, gabe was like we should probably let Cindy know. Maybe she won't come right away, maybe she will, but we'll just let her know so that she can wake up, prep, do all the things. And I was like all right, you know, let's, let's do that. So we called her she. She listened to me for probably 30 seconds to a minute and she was like I and I was like you know, just, you don't have to come right now, you can just wait, don't worry about it, it's fine. And she was like I think I'm going to come. And I was like, oh, okay, you know, like whatever.

Megan:

And, interestingly enough, the midwife assistant who the midwife in training, I should say, isa um had told me right when I got in with them and became a client with them that she was going to be away for four days, do not have your baby between May 28th and June 1st or whatever the case may be. And this was May 30th. So she was like I'm not going to be there. And I knew she wasn't going to be there. So I assumed that a different midwife, anna McGuire, was going to come and assist Cindy.

Megan:

But who shows up to my house? But Nicole. So this, yeah, nicole, who I was actually like really hoping would be able to be there. I hadn't seen her throughout my entire pregnancy. Nicole shows up and I was like, oh, my goodness, you came out of retirement for my baby, what? And I guess Anna had been called to a different birth that day, so she wasn't able to be there for Cindy. So Nicole came, which was so special because she was there for my first and I, like I said I I love, love Nicole and her, her style of of care, so that was really sweet. So she showed up, probably around eight or something, probably 738 or something, and I was already in the pool at that point. Gabe had convinced me to stop with my charcuterie before I get in the pool. So I got in the pool and, yeah, things picked up pretty speedily, I feel like.

Angela:

I'm Angela and I'm a certified birth photographer, experienced doula, childbirth educator and your host here on the my Maine Birth podcast. This is a space where we share the real life stories of families and their unique birth experiences in the beautiful state of Maine, from our state's biggest hospitals to birth center births and home births. Every birth story deserves to be heard and celebrated. Whether you're a soon-to-be mom, a seasoned mother or simply interested in the world of birth, these episodes are for you. Welcome back. You're listening to episode 128 of my Main Birth. As a reminder, nothing in this space is censored. I share all different types of stories that are submitted to me. You might hear hospital birth stories, birth center stories, all different types of home birth stories. These could all be either positive, negative or anything in between. The only requirement for sharing a birth story on the podcast is that at least one of your birth stories is a Maine birth story. As an added bonus, all of my podcast guests receive a gift certificate for a family adventure photo session on the session day of your choice. I host session days for my podcast guests at iconic locations across Maine throughout the spring, summer and fall. So if you're interested in joining the community of Maine moms sharing birth stories on the podcast. You can fill out the form over on my website, mymainbirthcom, or you can always send me a message over on Instagram at mymainbirth.

Angela:

Today's birth story guest is Megan, and she is here to share her two Maine birth stories with us. Her first was a planned home birth turned hospital transfer to Mayo in Dover, foxcroft, followed by an almost seven-year fertility journey leading up to the pregnancy and birth of her second son, who was born at home just a few months ago. All right, hi, megan, welcome to my Maine Birth. Good morning, hey, hey. So to get started, would you share a little bit about you and your family Of course, yeah.

Megan:

So my husband, Gabe, and I have been married for just over nine years and we live in a very small town in Maine and we have a very wild and sweet little boy, Nathan. He's eight. And then we just recently had another little boy joining our family and so now we have a three month old today. So, yeah, two little boys and we are just kind of live the rural farm life here We've got, you know, we've got some animals and try and keep life simple is kind of how we rural farm life here We've got, you know, we've got some animals and try and keep life simple is kind of how we try and do it.

Angela:

But yeah, the way life should be for sure, exactly, yeah, the main way. I love it, so yeah. So now jumping into your birth stories, would you share about how you found out you were pregnant for the first time and what your thoughts were in choosing your care?

Megan:

Yeah. So when I found out I was pregnant with Nathan, we had only been married, I think, about five months at the time and we were good with that. We were excited to start our family. So that was it was, I say, unexpected, although probably shouldn't have been quite as unexpected as it was. But I had PCOS and have had PCOS since I was a teenager. So we were kind of unsure of how pregnancy would go, how if I would be able to conceive well and my cycles had been really all over the place for months for the few months that we had been married, all over the place for months, for the few months that we had been married. So I really had no thought that I might have been pregnant. When I actually tested to find out and so I was I was very shocked to find out that I was pregnant that soon, with having PCOS and everything like that, and kind of eventually gave me the false idea that pregnancy would just come easily to me because I had gotten pregnant so quickly the first time.

Megan:

But we were very, very excited and my mother had done four out of five home births. I was her first baby born at home and watched my baby brother be born at home. I think I was five at the time and it was always something that really interested me. I ended up, kind of I ended up working on a farm later in life and helped a lot of animals deliver, and it was always just something that fascinated me birth and so when it came time for me it wasn't even really too much of a question. My husband was a hundred percent on board with having a home birth.

Megan:

So we we went with a midwife that had previously delivered my sister's babies and so we knew her, we knew her family and felt comfortable with her. We didn't like interview a lot of midwives, we just were like here, you know, we know you, we're comfortable with you and we just we hired her immediately. So it was a pretty straightforward. There wasn't a lot of back and forth on it for us, which was nice. Do you care to share who? It was a pretty straightforward. There wasn't a lot of back and forth on it for us, which was nice. Do you care to share who? It was? Yeah, so we use Cindy O'Donnell. She's based out of Parkman. She has since really slowed down in her practice as she's getting older she's semi, semi retired now but so I used her and her daughter Nicole, who's now Nicole Johnston. But so I used her and her daughter Nicole, who's now Nicole Johnston, and she kind of acted as my doula at the time. So, yeah, we had both of them with us.

Angela:

Oh fun, so were you born in Maine?

Megan:

also, I was. I was literally born in the exact town that I currently live in. Yeah, I'm like I was born in a house like two miles away from where I live now. So did your mom have Cindy also as her midwife? No, no, she used. I believe her name was Nancy O'Neill and I believe she is in a different state now. I'm not sure where she is, but used to live here and now she's been out of state for many, many, many years. But yeah, so she used her.

Angela:

Oh, wow, interesting. And so your sisters use Cindy, so you decided to go with her. Yes, and so how was your pregnancy looking, as things?

Megan:

sort of progressed. For you it was. So I'm just so thankful, I feel so blessed. I've had fairly easy pregnancies in terms of, you know, no morning sickness, really I have not. I never had any severe symptoms that that made it. So I was like, oh, pregnancy is miserable. I was, I was, I worked at a farm, like I was saying, and I worked throughout the whole nine months that I was pregnant with my first son, milking cows twice a day, and I was really active. So I would say it was fairly easy. We were very, very excited. We didn't find out the gender of our first baby, so we had that, as we were, like you know, nearing the end, the anticipation of that. I was very, very confident and very confident in what I could do physically, which I think was good. But as we'll get into the birth, you'll notice I was not very confident, like mentally and emotionally, as as I led up to delivery of my first baby.

Angela:

So so how are your appointments looking like and what was your experience with like the home birth midwifery care here in Maine looking like?

Megan:

and what was your experience with, like the home birth midwifery care here in Maine? Yeah, cindy does. She doesn't do like in-home appointments for the beginning stages. So you go to her, so I would. I would go to her house and do those. I loved I just loved how in-depth and lengthy they could go. It's basically more like chatting with a friend, you know, than sitting down at an office or something like that, you know, it's just you sit on her couch, you drink some tea and and chat about birth and your fears and your concerns or whatever the case may be. And I mean I loved that the the appointment times could vary, I mean, from, you know, 45 minutes to two to three hours if needed. It was really. It was very kind of made you feel like you were her only patient, even though you weren't, you know, so very personable. I felt like I was safe. I knew that she knew what she was doing. I never had a concern that, you know, something could go wrong that she wouldn't be able to help help with.

Angela:

So yeah, very felt, very safe, very seen. I love that style and the community around that. Yeah, it really is a whole different experience than your like 10 to 15 minute OB appointment when, like most of the hour and a half that you're there is spent in the waiting room, for sure.

Megan:

For sure. I mean I've. I've been to to help treat my PCOS. I've been to see like a typical OB to talk about those kinds of things it was. I mean it's just night and day difference. I mean honestly yeah.

Angela:

So yeah, what were your last final weeks and then days leading up to when your labor started looking like for you?

Megan:

leading up to when your labor started looking like for you. I was huge, I had. I also did have. I had a little bit of extra fluid as well, so that really made me pop. It was July, so the end of July. He was due to come on the 21st and he did eventually come on his due date, which I think is kind of fun. But I remember I was working on the farm and really hot, really tired. I remember going on walks many times. But I also didn't want to force him to come before he was ready. I was pretty adamant that I was not going to do any, take any measures to get him here sooner. So I was trying to be patient and wait it out. But I remember I was. I wasn't, I don't know, I didn't feel super rushed about it. I was pretty happy to have him in there. Yeah, it was good. There was a lot of. There were some days.

Angela:

You know just probably every every pregnant mom can remember those days you know you have you have those days where you're just like I'm, I'm done, I'm, I'm ready to be done. But yeah, I knew that he was going to come when he was ready and and he did. Yeah, oh, my goodness. So you had mentioned that you had a little bit of more of a struggles with the mental aspect of labor. Did you have things that you were thinking of, like leading up to birth, that like fears that we were focusing on, or things that were like kept coming up for you, like before you?

Megan:

yeah, I think the biggest thing and it wasn't wasn't even necessarily completely about me my parents were going through a divorce at the time and that was really hard for me.

Megan:

They had been married for like 25 years, so of course, my, my entire life, and knowing that that was coming and they were kind of in the middle of that, but not, but not really, I I ended up kind of, I guess, hoping, thinking that I could, that I could kind of bond them over their grandchild coming and I invited them both to come into my birth space to witness the birth.

Megan:

And I think that the thought of the thought of that and I think, just knowing I really thought that I would feel like a failure having if I had to transfer or if my birth didn't go how I intended. I I've always been physically strong and so I didn't want the people in my birth space to see me as as weak. So I think my the mental, the mental part came in when I was just like this cannot go wrong because I, I wanted I, just I I don't, I don't really know there was a lot that went into it that I just I'm still trying to process through, I think. But I think, yeah, none of those things did me any favors when it came time to give birth, just the things going on in my, in my outside fam, in the yeah, it all got to me at one point and yeah.

Angela:

Yeah, oh, my goodness, so jumping into your labor story then. Yeah, how did things get started for you?

Megan:

Yeah, labor started the day before my due date, so on July 20th, at like I don't know 5 am, let's say, I woke up and I was a little bit crampy and just not feeling great. I ended up getting up because I couldn't sleep walking around. I knew my husband would be getting up for work soon, so I was like, oh, I'm just going to let him sleep and if things peter out, then great, and if not, then he'll need his sleep too, whatever. So, walking around the house by myself for a while, which was nice, I remember talking to the baby and just trying to get those last moments of pregnancy and soak that last little bit in. But eventually I did realize that it was, it was likely time. And a couple hours later I woke him up and my husband was. I was like, oh, we'll just wait, we won't call the midwife right away. I mean, first baby is bound to take a while. And he had been up for about 20 minutes and was like we're going to call her, we're, we're going to call her. And I was like but he did, he wanted to call her, he felt more. So we called her and she also was like oh, you know, she listened to me. She talked to me and she was like, well, I'm just going to, you know, run home and do this and that, and then I'll, I'll, I'll, make my way over there. And I think she noticed how my husband sounded a little bit like you're going to do what now. She was like, okay, well, if you want, I'll just come now. So she came, she was there. I think she got there by like 10 in the morning. My mom, like I said, had gotten there.

Megan:

I decided, you know what birth is great and I still totally believe birth is great and beautiful but I was like let's let everybody join. So I had, just in the time in, in the time that I was laboring, I had my mom, my dad, I had two sisters, my sister's boyfriend, my brother stopped by with one of his friends and my grandmother showed up and all those people in this space while I was in labor, and that was totally my idea. My call I was like this is going to be fine, not understanding the, just the quiet inner, you know, strength, that you need to do this. And so, anyways, with between all those people filtering out and whatever they were, watching a movie, at one point I remember I came down and I joined them. I was, you know, as I was climbing the stairs and doing all that kind of stuff, I would just stop and chat with them and different things like that. And then eventually I did realize, and it did become overwhelming for me and I was unsure of how to go about, being like, okay, I know I asked you to come here, but now I need you to go, so I didn't, and I just was like it'll be fine and I just kind of pushed through that and it took a lot. So, because of all those things and just it being a first labor and whatever else, it was long.

Megan:

I labored at home for about 20 hours and, honestly, the yeah, like I said, the physical part I was prepared for, as prepared as one can be for not having experienced it before. I remember being like, all right, I can deal with this, I can do it kind of thing. But yes, just the other factors were too much for me and my midwife was was sensing that. She was very good at reading that and she recognized that there was just too much going on within the, the small area that I was in and should clear things away a little bit. So she started kind of kind of getting getting people to, to you know leave for for little bits at a time and different things like that.

Megan:

But after a time I had gotten to, I think about I think I was about eight centimeters. I got checked quite a few times, which I was. I didn't, you know, I didn't know as much about birth as I do now. I I probably wouldn't, I wouldn't do that now but I got checked, I think three or four times. At one point he was posterior and my midwife flipped him for me, which was great because my back labor was wicked intense and that changed the game a little bit for me there and so that was very helpful. Was this nighttime?

Angela:

now, or oh, yeah, so, yeah so everybody was sleeping over.

Megan:

Yeah, oh, everyone was staying. They were all up pacing the pace in the house with me, my sister, which was great, my sister, who actually was the doula for me at my second birth. She was cooking me food to keep my energy levels up, which was great, but at some point I did stop eating. I pretty much stopped drinking, unfortunately, and was just like super in the mode there. But yeah, so around let's just say, nine or so at night, I had just started having a little bit of bloody show. I had just, I mean, contractions were coming a lot closer together. I didn't even realize at the time that the very that in the morning time up until you know, probably five o'clock at night, so for a good 12 hours it was just the very beginning parts of labor, like I mean, I was, you know, I, I should have probably just rested and gone, you know, gone slow, and not been like it's time, it's coming, because I was thinking he would come a lot sooner than he did. So, yeah, around 9 pm, things are getting intense, they're getting real. There's a lot of stuff going on around me. It's a little bit mentally not easy to focus, and Cindy said that she could break my waters and try to push things along. She could see I was getting tired and so she did. She broke my waters around when I was eight centimeters, dilated, around maybe nine o'clock at night or so, and I labored for a little bit longer. I ended up, I think what we, what we figured out was I ended up, I ended up getting really tired and I ended up kind of crashing blood sugar wise because I had stopped eating and not drinking very well, even though it was encouraged very strongly by my midwife. I was just like no, I'm good and I'm trying to find out what's not good, and I became a little bit lethargic, not responsive super well, and at that point my midwife had been in contact with Dr Tebow, who was the doctor at Mayo Hospital who was going to deliver if I needed to transfer. She'd been texting back and forth with her letting her know what was going on and at that point she talked to my husband and was like you know, I think I was at nine centimeters at that point. She was like I think, I think things would go smoother at the hospital. You know home birth is. You know home birth is great. I know she could do it, but I think she would. I think it would be better for her to transfer. I would feel more comfortable and my husband was 100% on board with that.

Megan:

I just remember kind of being picked up and loaded into the car, and this was around midnight. At that point, give or take, and you know, so it had been like 19, 20 hours at home, and so we loaded up into the car and I think my mom was the only one to come with us. My sisters at that point went home. My dad oh, my dad, I believe did come, but he of course stayed in the waiting room at the hospital. So there was that. But yeah, so we get to the hospital. Dr Thibault meets us there.

Megan:

She was amazing. She literally was on vacation at the time. She came to the hospital from her vacation just to deliver my baby. She's so sweet, I love her and I get there, of course, still, like you know, active, active labor. She was coming to talk to me and I couldn't even talk back to her. I was like get this baby out of me.

Megan:

Anyways, basically, dr Devo looked as soon as I got there and she's like your 10 centimeters push, and they brought me some apple juice. I took a few sips of apple juice and I immediately felt a million times better and I started pushing and two and a half long hours later, two and a half long hours later, he was born and, yeah, I did tear, I tore a little bit, got some stitches. All in all, when I look back I'm like, oh, it seems like it would have been a fairly good birth. There were some things that I feel like were, I say, traumatic in a very loose way, slightly.

Megan:

I, I, it went well, um, comparatively to a lot, of, a lot of births, maybe, but it definitely was not the birth that I had intended or had, you know, mapped and planned out in my head, which, you know, what does that? Even you know can't control that, obviously, but you know it was just in in that setting. You know the you have to push a certain way. You know you're on your back and your feet are in the stirrups and there's bright light up there, and then you know people are just, you know there's tons of people around and they started talking about a C-section because I had pushed for so long.

Megan:

I guess there's a protocol and you're only allowed to push for so long before they start prepping things, and they were. They were getting ready to start prepping things and, like I said, praise the Lord for Dr Thibault, because she was like nope, baby's doing fine, she's doing fine, leave her alone. But I heard that going around and so I was just like whoa, you know, I'm, I'm not, I'm not getting a C-section, I can't, I don't want to have a C-section, and so different things like that made me more nervous leading up to my second birth because of how the first one went. But baby was healthy and I was healthy, and so that was a blessing.

Angela:

Yeah, thank goodness for amazing doctors Like I know. Dr Thiebaud is definitely one of those amazing doctors. You know that are there when you do need to transfer to the hospital, you know, but it's processing that afterwards, when it's not your original plan, is hard. You know, even if it went like as good as it could have gone, you know like it's still hard, Right, yeah, for sure. So how was your postpartum time?

Megan:

I, I, I, again, I. I think it was better than it could. You know, there there are a lot of stories and people who have had it worse than I did. So I try to not, you know, I don't want to complain about it, but again, just with the. Not, you know, I don't want to complain about it, but again, just with the. Uh, you know, my parents were still going through their thing and I think they did officially get divorced when I was probably about three months postpartum or so, but I never did. I never suffered with, like, postpartum depression. I, um, I had my postpartum blues and had my day where I ran to my mom and set the baby in her lap and sat on the floor and cried for a little while. So that happened.

Megan:

I again, I was, like I said, one of those people. I was like, I was confident and like, oh, this is going to be a breeze, essentially. And when I found out that, hey, you know what hormones are going to be adjusting now and you can't control everything, it kind of came as a little bit of a shock to me that I was like, man, I never cry. Why am I crying? I was, I toughed out the physical part, which and, again, not always a good idea I I had actually fractured my tailbone, I guess, during the during my delivery, and I didn't find out until I was about six months postpartum. Because I didn't say anything because I assumed you're supposed to be in pain after you have a baby. That's pretty normal. So I didn't really tell anybody, I just assumed that it was fine until you know, I think I was about four months or so postpartum and I realized I still couldn't sit down directly without feeling a lot of discomfort, that I realized probably something was a little bit off. And so there, so there was that my husband, I, I told my husband, you know, go back to work. You know, you don't have to worry about me. You know, people have babies all the time, like it's just a baby, it's going to be good, you go back to work, I'll take care of the baby. Um, and so he did.

Megan:

I had, I had Nathan on Friday and he was back to work on Monday, and so I I underestimated and turned down help that I definitely could have used, just from my own, you know, stubbornness more or less, and the thinking that I could do it and you know whatever, and like I obviously did do it. But I could have had a. I could have had a much more restful postpartum time, gotten my hormones to balance a lot better, had I accepted some help and rested a little bit more and advocated for myself for sure. But I do remember yeah, lots of yeah. I was a first time mom. I was definitely in the trenches at first time like what do I do about this and that? And you know, having all kinds of questions but not necessarily seeking out answers and just kind of trying to get through it, which I now regret and realize like I missed a lot of bonding time, a lot of connection with my firstborn.

Angela:

Yeah, hindsight, 2020. And it's like you don't know what. You don't know Exactly yeah for sure. And then you learn more and you just do it differently next time, and it just is what it is. It's like those lessons.

Megan:

Yeah, exactly, oh my gosh. Yeah, there's a it's like night and day difference from my first to my second, which I'm so grateful for.

Angela:

Yeah, so along those same lines, with the mental like aspect of it and having your birth go like the way that it did, when you were planning one thing and then also inviting all of those people to witness it your thoughts after, like in your postpartum of your first, like about all of the people that you invited, and maybe in thinking of doing it again next time, like what were your thoughts? Like yeah, around that aspect, yeah, I was.

Megan:

I was very defensive of it. Honestly, I would tell anybody that I was. You know, I'm glad I did it that way. Just Just because you do it this way, just because you have so many people, doesn't mean that your birth is going to go the exact same way as mine did, you know, and to some extent I can hold to some of that. But it wasn't until I started learning more about birth.

Megan:

I eventually started attending birth myself as a doula and seeing all the different, the different ways that people birth, to the length of time that it took, and listening to other people's stories, um, going through the classes that I went through to to become a doula, I I would have been very defensive of it up until then, and at that point I realized, um, I realized how you know how sacred and intimate birth is and how it's supposed to be, and how natural it is for our bodies to feel open and and ready to birth, and then again, how closed off they can be when they're, when they don't feel safe and when they don't feel ready. And so, knowing those things, I was able to really talk to myself a little bit more and realize just how much I was not ready and not comfortable giving birth in the setting that I tried to give birth in, and that explained a lot more to me.

Angela:

Yeah, I really think there is a huge lesson in that experience, like as you're sharing it, the way that you are about all of that, because that's definitely not something you know, that only you did. You know, like, a lot of people invite their whole, entire families to their birth, and it's like when you invite your brother and your brother's friends are over and it's like all of these people that you maybe wouldn't feel so intimate around, you know, in your space, like it's a it's an intimate space.

Megan:

It is. So I, I personally kind of hold to the fact that, yeah, you can have people in your birthing space, but these are the people that you do have that connection with. And if you have that connection with five people, then then have those five people, but if you don't, don't try to force that. You know, like the first time that I gave birth, I had two of my sisters. Like I said, those same two sisters were at my second birth and it went amazingly. I had a different connection with them the second time around time around. The first time that I gave birth, one of my sisters was a teenager, a pretty young teenager, and she had not really been around birth as much and was very impatient for it to get going. And my other sister I just didn't have a good relationship with at the time, it was a little bit up and down. And so those same two people, two different experiences, based on the connection that we had had. You know.

Angela:

Yeah, just like walking through that experience with you and even witnessing that and probably themselves learning how intimate. The whole space is too. Yeah, that's amazing. So when? What kind of led you to pursue your doula trainings after your first was born?

Megan:

Like I said, though watching my brother be born, birth has just always, always fascinated me. And then having my son, the doula who is there? So, nicole, I felt very comfortable with Nicole being at my birth and I almost felt like not entirely, but I was just like, yes, my midwife is here for me, but she's here for the baby. My doula is here for me. And when I was feeling overwhelmed and whatever she was, she was, she never left my side honestly, and looking back afterwards, I was like, well, that was she was, she never left my side honestly, and looking back afterwards I was like, well, that was, that was amazing. Like are there people out there who, like I don't even know that I really even knew what doulas were too much before that.

Megan:

And so that really struck something with me and my, my siblings, all have gone on to have multiple pregnancies and births and I've been invited into some of their spaces, really like a girl becoming a woman. You know, you know it's it's, it's a birth as much for the woman as it is for the baby. You know it's a rebirth of something and I just find it to be so transformative and just so it's. Just it gives me like this high, so to speak every time. It's like it never gets old. It's just an absolute miracle to witness. And so when I started taking, taking some classes and reading some books and doing things like that, I I realized that that was something that I would never get tired of and I would just be just absolutely honored to be a part of for for the rest of my life. And I had such a good circle of women around me encouraging me in that my midwife being one of them, and it was it was just beautiful to kind of step into that. It is it's just so special.

Angela:

So how did you find out you were pregnant for the second time? What were your thoughts?

Megan:

Oh yeah, that's a that's a long story. We started trying to have another baby when our oldest was about nine months old, so that would have been sometime in early 2018. And that is when I realized that it was not going to be the same story twice and I was not going to just get lucky and get pregnant, going to just get lucky and get pregnant quickly. So, yeah, we tried for that whole seven years and I never once got pregnant. I didn't get pregnant and miscarry that I'm aware of. I started tracking ovulation and I couldn't find that I was ovulating. Even my PCOS symptoms were getting worse. It was really hard. It was a hard seven years. We tried and eventually kind of stopped trying. I ended up caving and trying fertility drugs, I guess technically fertility medications which didn't work basically fertility medications which didn't work, and we're basically told that we had a pretty slim chance based on how severe my PCOS seemed. I went to naturopaths, I did acupuncture, I did all the things that you know people would probably tell you to try and at some point I was like I'm done trying. It's really hard to try. I was kind of just broke over it and but knew that we definitely still wanted another baby. The desire never went away. And I remember one night I, my husband and I, we talked about you know how we were doing with it. Pretty frequently it impacts both of you when you're both going through it together. So we talked about it and one night we were talking about it and I was like you know what I prayed about this before. But I was like I really want this revelation. I wish I could just know, you know like cause, if I knew I was never going to have another child, I I could be okay, I just don't like the unknown. Am I going to be pregnant? Am I not always wanting to take a test to find out? Um, kind of a thing. And so I told him that night I was like I am just going to pray that I have a dream and in this dream that it will be revealed to me if I'm going to have a baby or if I'm not, and whatever. And he was like that sounds great, go ahead, pray for that, you know whatever. And so I did.

Megan:

And I very vividly had a dream that I found out I was pregnant two weeks before Thanksgiving and I was telling my family and I remember seeing a sonogram and all the different things. And I woke up and I was like wow, you know, it was in August. It was at the very end of August of last year that I, that I had this dream, and I went and I called, I told all my family and friends hey, I've had this dream, please be in prayer for us because I'm going to start, I'm going to start preparing my body to to be pregnant, you know, and kind of stepping out in faith again. And I know I could get hurt and I know I could have just drummed to this wacky thing just for no good reason, but I'm going to start preparing myself supplements. I did not, I I've never take a, an official like prenatal. I have tincture and I take beef supplements, like beef organ supplements, and that's kind of how I, how I prep my body for for that, and so that's what I started doing.

Megan:

And I found out I was pregnant on October 2nd, so just just over a month later, and I was still shocked as crazy as it. So because I, even though I had been prepping and I had, you know, had this expectation, the shock was still insane. I took a test even though I hadn't had a cycle, obviously, in a while which I thought was normal, because I normally didn't have normal cycles anyway I was 100% not expecting to see that I was pregnant. I actually I dipped it and I set it down and before I had even actually almost set it down, it was, it was positive, it was very, very obvious, it was, it wasn't a faint line or anything like that and I literally, I think, dropped to the floor because I was so shocked, like first, first positive pregnancy test in over seven years, and I, I don't know, I couldn't cry, I couldn't talk, I couldn't. I was just like I was. Yeah, it was the, it was the most absolute shocking thing.

Megan:

And then I was like I have to tell, I have to tell Gabe of course he's at work and so I just scooped up my eight year old and I, I got him out of bed and I was like we need to go, we need to go see daddy, let's go, we're going. You know, whatever I didn't, I was. I was like I have to, I have to tell him. And um, yeah, so went and found him, um, told him and my eight year old guest, he knew, based on how I was acting and I was I was surprised, I was like I didn't know you were that intuitive that he he would have known. But he, he said, before I even told him he's like I think you're pregnant based on how you're acting. And I was like really, so apparently I was. Yeah, that's how the shock and the excitement showed up. It was incredibly obvious. It was the most exciting, surprising day. It was crazy.

Angela:

What an amazing story. I love that story. That's incredible. And what were your thoughts like over those next few weeks as you were thinking about planning another birth? Like what were your thoughts in choosing your care?

Megan:

Honestly, I was so nervous at that point. I was pregnant after so long and I was so nervous that something might happen to end the pregnancy that I really didn't even think about it for some time. I think it probably took a couple months before I was really thoughtful about, like how am I, you know? It seemed more real to me at that point, I guess, really thoughtful about like how am I, you know? It seemed more real to me at that point, I guess. And so I did eventually want to find a midwife. I knew I wanted to have another home birth. I was, I felt like, because of the knowledge and experience that I had gained over the past seven years, that it would not that necessarily that the home birth would be successful, but that my birth itself would be successful, whether it was at home or at a hospital. I was more confident of that.

Megan:

So I ended up going back to the same midwife that I had used previously. She did my ultrasound and confirmed my pregnancy and gave me a due date, so I was due June 6th. And then, yeah, just kind of got back into her care, although at the time she had an assistant who was in training with her. Her name is Issa, and Issa was in training to be a midwife so she was helping. Nicole was on maternity leave at the time and so I was kind of bumming, I wouldn't be able to have her. She was there my first, like I said, and I absolutely loved having her there with me, so I was a little bit bumming, but Iza is an absolute sweetheart and I was just so. It was so sweet, I was so glad that I got to work with her for that first part.

Angela:

So and Nicole went on to be a midwife, right Like she was a midwife at this point right and she went from a doula for your first birth and then she went Nicole.

Megan:

Yes, nicole, I technically was not certified yet, but she was. She's very close Um. So yeah, she was going to be working as like primary. She would have been working primary on it had she been there.

Angela:

Yeah, so you had a your midwife and an amazing student midwife. I feel like it's so nice to care, like even from the student midwives, you know, because it's just so, it's like just more of the same type of care right, oh, absolutely, yes, I mean, uh, definitely she.

Megan:

You know she had questions and of course she had someone there to help her and stuff like that. But it's amazing how knowledgeable she was for not even having ever. You know, she wasn't even certified yet but she knew so much, Like if I had questions I could easily go to her. So that was really nice.

Angela:

Yeah, oh, my gosh, incredible. So how are you feeling throughout this pregnancy, as things progressed?

Megan:

Yeah, this pregnancy. The difference that I had was I was so anxious throughout most of it. In the beginning I was anxious about miscarrying. I guess that actually almost did carry on all the way throughout. For some reason, things would pop into my mind. I would read stories Um, uh, I follow a lot of birth pages and you know different accounts, and things would just randomly pop up about, uh, you know, losing, losing your baby at 30 weeks gestation, or oh, you, you know, you get to delivery day and then this happens or whatever, and I don't know why. I felt like I was almost like drawn to those stories and it was almost like this was too good to be true. You know, like why did I get a baby after seven years? You know like what, what happened, different things. I just I was just filled with anxiousness, with something I processed through a lot with my midwives and with my husband.

Megan:

I had to really work hard to not be filled with anxiety about that particularly. I was constantly being like, oh, do I feel the baby move? Oh, and I did have some bleeding in the first trimester as well, which I never had with my first, and so I think that really elevated that fear a little bit more, trying to get the bleeding under control, but holding onto that little bit of excitement and hope as well. So it was an interesting balance trying to trying to be excited, trying to be hopeful, um, but also, you know, I have an eight-year-old who has been wanting a baby, um, brother, sister, for so long, wanting him to be excited, trying to be hopeful, but also, you know, I have an eight year old who has been wanting a baby brother, sister, for so long, wanting him to be excited but also wanting him to realize, like you know, the Lord gives and the Lord can take away, and you know we need to hold this baby with open hands, knowing that, you know. You know anything is possible as well. It was I was trying to protect my own feelings is what I was trying to do, and so the first few months were were a lot like that, and then, the further along I got, the more the anxiety started to slip away and the excitement was starting to replace that anxiety and in general, it was just, it was beautiful.

Megan:

It was very again, very similar to my first. I had tiredness, that was. That's like my main pregnancy symptom, I think, is I could nap every single day, but no nausea, no other like debilitating symptoms or anything like that. So that was that's amazing. I'm just so thankful for that.

Megan:

And we did find out the gender of our, of our baby this time around. So that was exciting. We kind of. That was kind of my, my way of trying to break the you know, is this real? Um, you know, anxiety feeling was to be like I'm going to put a. Um, you know, I wanted to name my baby and do all that. So I was like I'm going to be, I'm going to find out what this baby is, so that I can start bonding a little bit better with him or her. Ended up being a boy and, um, I think that actually did help for me. And, um, we weren't planning on doing that, but we kind of called an audible and we're like we're going to do this to help, you know, to help ourselves, you know, and so that was really different and special too.

Angela:

So yeah, it's like there's no right or wrong way to do it. It's just like what's right or wrong for you and each birth you know. Like, what do you want in each experience? So different.

Megan:

Exactly so unique, it's so fun.

Angela:

Yeah, it really is. So how are your appointments looking throughout this pregnancy with your midwife? Were they sort of more focused on, like your mindset and sort of things like that?

Megan:

and even thinking about the birth, because I was so focused on just the day to day anxieties of each day, kind of a thing, and they were trying to be like, let's focus on long term. You know you have a baby, you're gonna have to birth this baby. Like we need to start preparing, you know, for that. And so they really kept me, kept me focused on that. So there was definitely a lot of that which was good and then very um mine, but they were mindful of that. There were times where I would be like, oh, you know, I just I don't feel baby moving as much. And they they knew, based on my experience, that that was something that bothered me and worried me and they were very good to be like, all right, let's, you know, come on in and we're going to check on this baby for you, or something like that. I actually ended up I have a Doppler so I was able to check on that every once in a while and different things.

Megan:

But it is very different, you know, like as someone who's who's you know worked as a doula for others, you know it's like you can think, I can think like, what would I say to someone who is in my situation and I'm like I know I would tell them this, but I feel like this because I'm the pregnant mom this time and I'm not. I need someone to say these things to me, and so they were there to say those things to me. Um, as well as my, my two sisters and my mom, they've all, like I said, they've all been around birth and one of my sisters has five and she had five births. And my other sister is very passionate about birth. She has one child she had, she had him at home, which was and he was. He was a very he's a very sweet big baby. He was 10 pounds seven ounces when he was born and she was a rock star and had him at home and is very passionate about birth, very knowledgeable about it, and my mom, of course, has had multiple.

Angela:

So I had so many people to lean on and turn to in that time, which was great. Oh, I love that. That's so, so important to have that community. So how were the last final weeks and then days leading up to when?

Megan:

your labor started looking like for you? Yeah, okay. So I was due June 6th and at some point in May, the beginning of May hard for me to think of an exact date, but sometime in the beginning of May I thought I was in labor. I think it was a Saturday, so my husband was home, which was great, so he didn't have to take time off or anything like that. But I was like, oh, this is it.

Megan:

You know, I was having contractions, although I did tell everybody multiple times my, my sister came, my, the, the midwife in training came over and I did tell them. I was like, if this is labor, it seems very easy for some reason. And they were, like you know, but I was, I was, you know, kind of vocalizing through contractions a little bit, you know, it just didn't seem as intense as I would have expected and I knew in my head, I knew that this didn't seem real. But my body was going through a lot of the same motions and I labored, so to speak quote unquote labored for about 12 hours. I got checked and I was five centimeters dilated, but my cervix was anterior. So it was determined that likely the baby wasn't actually coming and I was just experiencing, like you know, false labor essentially, and eventually, like I said, 12 hours later it petered out.

Megan:

I, at that point, after that was over, I had contractions every single day for the rest of my pregnancy, some that felt pretty intense and pretty real and baby had dropped it well into my pelvis. At that point his head was tilted off to the side a little bit, so he was often a little weird in a little weird spot and I after that felt so done I. I knew I wasn't going to, like you know I say force, force, encourage him to come, but I wanted him to come. At that point I was very uncomfortable and it was kind of an exhausting two weeks. He waited I say he waited. He took two more weeks before he actually joined us and those two weeks were pretty intense for me.

Angela:

Yeah, I can only imagine, oh my gosh, that prodormal labor and those toning contractions. Right, Get your uterus ready for birth, exactly.

Megan:

So, yeah, I, I remember I went to my midwife. It was my last midwife checkup before the baby came, which we didn't know. It was going to be the last one, obviously, before he came, but it was, and it was probably, let's see, it was on a Tuesday and I had him on Friday, so just a few days before, and I did, I went and just sat down and cried for a little while. I was like I am tired and this baby is, you know, it's way down here and it's heavy. You're always going to seven. She just listened to me and she was like you know, reassure me that baby was going to come in his, in his perfect timing and all that, and really gave me that boost I needed to get through the next couple of days.

Megan:

But, yeah, so Friday morning I woke up and just similar to my first round, you know, 4.00 AM, actually, I woke up around around 3am and I was like I feel a little bit off, but I didn't think it was labor. I was just like, wow, man, you know I'm uncomfortable because I'm pregnant, you know, like whatever and was able to go back to sleep. So that was good. I was like, yeah, I'm just gonna go back to sleep, went back to sleep but then got woken up again at 4am and went to the bathroom and was starting to get crampy. And I just knew this time, you know, like the first time, I was telling you like I was saying something doesn't feel right. I don't think this is, you know, it's not as intense as I would have thought. This time it had probably only been 20 minutes of feeling off and crampy and contractions and stuff, and I knew that it was it. I was confident, I was like, yep, there you go. You know, um, the first time, like I said, I didn't want to call anyone, I didn't want to tell anyone. Um, I waited hours before I told my sister that she should come, and this time it was about like, yeah, about 20 minutes. And I went over and woke my husband up when I was like, yep, it's time, and he was like, oh, okay, so we were kind of just, like you know, hang out, kind of talking about. But I could tell things were picking up pretty quickly and so I told my sister to come. She's about two hours away from me and so I was like, well, where I'm already about five centimeters dilated and baby's really low and everything and things seem to be coming on quickly. I would. You know, I think she should probably come. So I think she started making her way, probably around four, 30. So she wouldn't have gotten to us until about six, 30 or so. Um and I started just kind of walking around the house just laboring at home with my husband and um, that was really nice. It was a really sweet, beautiful time.

Megan:

You know, we had, we'd had the birth pool set up from my previous. So we had the birth pool set up for about two weeks and every time we'd start to take it down I would feel like, oh, maybe it's time. You know, whatever contraction I cause, I had contractions every day. So it was, it was set up but not filled up. So he started filling the tub pretty much right away, because I think we both kind of just knew, interestingly, like I don't think we ever really talked about it I didn't say like, oh, this is. You know, I think I in my head was like I think this is gonna happen pretty quick, and I guess he had the same idea, because he started filling up the tub already and I, just trying to distract myself, I guess, decided to set up a charcuterie board for my midwives and people who were coming to my birth. So I started cutting up fruits and veggies and putting out crackers and all the things, and every once in a while, gabe would look at me and he'd be like don't you think you should be sitting down or resting or whatever. And I was like no, no, I'm fine. And I'm like gripping the counter, being like okay, sorry, but it was really nice because it was just, it was calm and quiet, it was just us. The other thing was that my son wanted to be there for the birth as well, so we didn't wake him ourselves, but he woke up by hearing me, I guess being in labor, and he woke up and I just heard him from the other room and he goes, he goes, mom, are you, are you having the baby yet? And I was like I think so. And he was like okay. So he, he bounded out of his room. He was very excited, he was ready to witness that and uh and yeah. So that's how everything started. And then it did happen very quickly, which was, which was very nice.

Megan:

So my sister arrived around 630, right before she came, probably around six or so. Gabe was like we should probably let Cindy know. Maybe she won't come right away, maybe she will, but we'll just let her know so that she can wake up, prep, do all the things. And I was like, all right, you know, let's, let's do that. So we called her she, she listened to me for probably 30 seconds to a minute and she was like I and I was like you know, just, you don't have to come right now, you can just wait, don't worry about it, it's fine. And she was like I think I'm going to come. And I was like, oh, okay, you know, like whatever.

Megan:

And, interestingly enough, the um, the midwife assistant, who the midwife in training, I should say Isa had told me right when I got in with them and became a client with them that she was going to be away for four days Do not have your baby between May 28th and June 1st or whatever the case may be. And this was May 30th. So she was like I'm not going to be there. And I knew she wasn't going to be there. So I assumed that a different midwife, um, anna McGuire um, was going to come and assist Cindy.

Megan:

Um, and but who shows up to my house? But Nicole. So this. Yeah, nicole, who I was actually like really hoping would would be able to be there. I hadn't seen her throughout my entire pregnancy. Um, nicole shows up and I was like, oh my goodness, you came out of retirement for my, for my baby, what? And I guess Anna had been called to a different birth that day, so she wasn't able to be there for Cindy.

Megan:

So Nicole came, which was so special because she was there for my first and I, like I said, I love, love Nicole and her, her style of of care, so that was really sweet. So she showed up, goodness, probably around eight or something, probably 7.30, eight or something, and I was already in the pool at that point. Gabe had convinced me to stop with my charcut and I was already in the pool at that point. Gabe had convinced me to stop with my charcuterie before I get in the pool. So I got in the pool and, yeah, things picked up pretty speedily.

Megan:

I feel like it was pretty intense and I, looking back now I'm I'm grateful because it was. It was faster, you know, but everything being together was a lot more intense. So I kind of got to experience both sides, you know, but everything being together was a lot more intense. So I kind of got to experience both sides, you know, long and dragged out, but not as intense contraction wise and then the other way around and I definitely feel like I prefer the intense for a short amount of time, but obviously it's beautiful either way, but that's.

Megan:

I got to experience that this time I didn't have back labor. This time he was not posterior, which was great I did have. He was coming off a little sideways. Still he came out with his head tilted. So I did have to do a lot of repositioning, a lot of, you know, moving of the hips to try and wiggle him down. But I could tell I wanted it to be a little bit more hands-off this time. I wanted to, you know, not get a million checks and, you know, not have my waters broken for me and and it and it went perfectly that way, which was, which was great. So I at one point I stood up and I was shaking and so I was like I looked around and I was like, guys, I think I'm in transition, I'm shaking and whatever. And my midwives both looked at me like yeah, we know you, we know you're in training, we can tell. And so I felt very hopeful about that. I could tell that things were moving along and my body was doing exactly what it was supposed to.

Megan:

Both of my sisters had arrived at this point and we're we're just doing things nicely and quietly in the background. Gabe was very supportive and Nathan was a little bit in and out. You know he um he would get a little bit bored after a while, but it was that's what I loved about it. It wasn't like everyone was sitting there just watching me. It wasn't like you know whatever. Like my photographer came and, uh, she actually cooked my son breakfast and entertained him, talked to him a little bit. It was just kind of. It was a very peaceful time. It was beautiful. I look back on it and it just brings me so much joy to think about the people that I had in my space and how supportive and encouraging everyone was. Wasn't like overpowering or anything like that. It was great. So it wasn't.

Megan:

I stayed in the pool for a bit. After a little while I my waters had not broken and I think they my midwife assumed maybe if I just got up and walked around a little bit, that things would really progress well, which I thought they and they were. They were I, they were progressing, I could have just stayed where I was, but they were like, yeah, if you want to get up and walk around, you know. And so, um, so I did, I got up and I walked over to the bathroom, sat on the toilet, which is, of course, dilation station you are going to feel it there and feel it. I did.

Megan:

Um, I previous to that, though, I had started pushing, I had, I had felt the urge to push, and again, I didn't get checked. I don't know if I was exactly at 10 centimeters, but I was, you know, pretty forcefully pushing at this point, with, with each contraction, just things were, things were happening, and so I got out, and I mean every every 30 seconds I was having a contraction that I was like bearing down, it was really exhausting, obviously, after a little bit. But so I get to the toilet and I start pushing there too, and my water broke on the toilet which was perfect place, you know, great, no mess, right. Um. So I was like, oh, my water broke, um, it was great. I felt like I said, I felt very in control. Broke, Um, it was great, I felt like I said, I felt very in control, which was, which was awesome.

Megan:

I was able to talk through what I was feeling, whereas my first labor I didn't know what I was feeling or why, but I was able to. I this time I was like I feel him, I feel him dropping. I can tell that I'm in transition. I can you know? Hey, my water broke. Things like that just made me feel like I was in control of how this was. You know, to some extent I was. I was in control of, of this space.

Angela:

You knew what was going on from all of your education and stuff that you've learned, yeah, from being yes, yes, exactly so.

Megan:

So that was great. So, yeah, water broke and I started, as soon as that happened. I had a couple contractions there and then I was like I I knew he was coming. I kept telling everyone, I was like I could feel the pressure, I could feel a little bit of the burning sensation, and so I kept saying he's coming, he's coming, I know he's coming. And, um, they were like yep, yep. And so, um, my husband and my and my midwife, I believe started helping me walk back towards the living room, not a very long gap between the bathroom and the living room. But I think it took me a good 20 minutes to get through that space because I, yeah, every every 30 seconds I'd have a good contraction and I'd stop and I'd push a few times and then, you know, to take one more step. It was just like with each step I would stop to push. So, anyways, we finally got through that space and my midwife and my doula were, they were praying and they were, um, you know, saying scripture over me and it was, it was really nice, it was. And then, at that point I finally get out there.

Megan:

I realized I do not want to get back in the tub. I I was at first okay with having. I was like, yeah, I'll have them in the in the tub. But things just happen the way they're supposed to happen. And I was right outside of the tub and I realized he was coming. I had continually for the for the past couple hours been reaching down to feel to see if I could feel him coming. And when I reached down that time he was probably just like one knuckle deep in there. So I at that point just squatted down, basically. So I got into like a squat, one knee on the ground, you know, and the other leg up, and started bearing down.

Megan:

I was very excited for this part. I knew that that meant the end was in sight, you know, and I was like I'm going to get to meet this baby. The end was in sight, you know, and I was like I'm going to get to meet this baby. So all of the I say fear I didn't really have fear, but the I was a little bit, you know, the last maybe hour before I started really pushing, I was like how much longer is this going to last? Because I was like, could this go another four or five hours, I don't know, and it felt super intense. So I had that little bit of like I can't keep doing this Although I know I could have, but that's what I was saying to myself was like I don't know if I can keep doing this. So when the time came and he was actually coming, I felt this huge sense of relief. You know it's going to be over.

Megan:

Also when you feel that it's usually another sign that it's exactly the second you say I can't do this is this yeah, that's a great sign. I love, I love hearing that, actually, whenever I'm at birth, I'm like can't do this anymore, I'm like, yes, it's coming, um. So at that point, my, my son came out. He, he had been reading in his room and he came out and we called him out and it was very quick. At that point, you know, from the time I got down there to pushing him out was probably five minutes, if not three minutes I was able to, I say, semi catch him. My, my midwife was, was right there too, she, she grabbed, she grabbed him and I grabbed him.

Megan:

And it was a very redemptive, wonderful feeling. It was just absolutely euphoric. I felt like I was, you know, like I was dreaming. It was, you know it's. It's crazy how you can be like in pain and rejoicing and feel peaceful and wonderful all at the same time, and that's that's the only, I guess there's no real way to describe it. I, I, um, yeah, I was literally just in, you know, just so blissful, you know. So my son got to witness it, which he was very thankful for, which is so sweet, and we just got to have our, our moment, you know, like I, you know, brought him right up to my chest and we, just, we snuggled for so for so long. You know it was, it was beautiful. I, I love it.

Megan:

Oh my gosh, what an amazing story. I love that so much. So how was your immediate postpartum? Yeah, postpartum was I mean. I loved my postpartum experience. This time I I was able to recognize what I wanted to do and didn't do with my first. So my husband had like two weeks off of work. He took care of how I sat and snuggled my baby. That was my job. I was like this is my job. Okay, this is my full-time job.

Megan:

I really just tried to prioritize healing and rest. I felt good, which that was my biggest problem was I felt so good that I was like I feel like I could get up and go run almost, but I knew like I would feel worse later. So I really had to talk myself into resting this time, whereas before I should have wanted to rest but I was talking myself into not. I went the complete opposite. So I was really focusing on nursing and establishing that, you know, the breastfeeding, connection and bond there and just kind of getting to know this new little person and trying to adjust to being a family of four. Obviously, there's a huge gap between my two boys, and so I wanted to, you know, between my two boys, and so I wanted to, you know, still be able to spend that time with Nathan that I had previously, and then spend that time with Malachi as well, and so it was very, it was very good that my husband was incredibly helpful. He held down the fort for us.

Megan:

We actually had Nathan came down with a stomach bug and he he was puk, puking. Um, I think it. I think I was like four days postpartum at that point, and so he and my husband were like trapped themselves out in the living room and hunkered down while I hunkered down in here hoping to try and, like you know, not catch whatever he had. I did end up I came down with it as well. So, um, I ended up coming down with it for like one day or whatever.

Megan:

It was not terrible, but it was. Yeah, it was. It was, as you know, there were some ups and downs to it with the sickness and whatever else, but it was just the most wonderful time, like I. I just I was able to realize how beautiful and calming and bonding and everything, uh, postpartum season should and can be, whereas before I had told myself like, oh, it's just a messy, painful, gross time, you know, like whatever, where you know you feel awful and you're tired or this and whatever, but it can be beautiful and it was beautiful, so there's so many amazing lessons in both of your stories.

Angela:

I feel like that are so valuable. As a final question, if you were to give advice to someone who's expecting, or even new parents, what's one of the biggest things that you'd want to share at this point in your journey?

Megan:

trust yourself. You know you're not going to go wrong with trusting your baby and your body to do exactly what they're meant to do. You know it is beautiful and, no matter how your birth goes, you are going to be changed for the better and it's going to be beautiful and you'll be able to look back and see the beauty in it and just really just pray about it. You know like God can do more than we, than than we can even ask or think, you know. So really allow yourself to believe that and accept that and just enjoy it. Enjoy the whole process. It's a miracle. It's an absolute miracle.

Angela:

Yeah, it really is, and yeah, you're. You're right, that transformation is there in all of the stories and all of the journeys, however it goes, and there's always something there for you to learn and grow. Absolutely, yes, yeah, well, thank you so much, megan, for taking the time to chat with me and share your two amazing birth stories.

Megan:

Oh, of course, thank you so much. I really appreciate it.

Angela:

Before you go, I just want to remind you I have a ton of resources for pregnancy and birth. If you're pregnant, whether you're a first time mom or if this is your fifth baby, I want you to check out the show notes, because I have some free trainings and free downloads that you can sign up for, as well as the link to access my labor of love, a comprehensive, self-paced online childbirth education course. I created this course specifically for moms who don't want to be told what to do, regardless of where you're birthing or who you're birthing with, and I'd honestly love to teach you everything that I know so that you can prepare for an autonomous birth experience and prepare to step into your role as the leader of your birth journey. So click to the show notes, check out all of those links and, if you ever have any questions, feel free to DM me at my main birth over on Instagram.